I'm a best man to a fader and his family who are JWs are attending

by usualusername1 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • usualusername1

    I'm a best man to a fader like myself and just now I have found out that 1/3 of guests are JWs.

    Would love some ideas on things to say in the speech to NOT cause offense to them.

    Thx in advance.


  • Giordano

    This might be one approach.......... at least it could work as an outline.


    Non Religious Wedding Ceremony Script


    Welcome, family, friends and loved ones. We are gathered here today,
    surrounded by the beauty of creation and nurtured by the sights and sounds of nature to celebrate the wedding of Lizzy and Pat.

    You have come here from nearby and from far away to share in this commitment they are making with one another, to offer your love and support to their union, and to allow Lizzy and Pat to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them.

    Lizzy and Pat thank you for your presence here today. They ask for your blessing,
    encouragement, and lifelong support, for their decision to be married. They also remember other loved ones who cannot be here to share this moment with them today. Those people too.............. they hold dear in their hearts.

    Pat and Lizzy, marriage is the promise between two people who love each other, who trust that love, who honor one another as individuals in that togetherness, and who wish to spend the rest of their lives together.

    A strong marriage also nurtures each of you as separate individuals and
    allows you to maintain your unique identity and grow in your own way through the years ahead.

    You are adding to your life not only the affection of each other, but also the companionship and blessing of a deep trust. You are agreeing to share strength, responsibilities and love.

    Pat and Lizzy see friends as “chosen family”, the
    strength in lasting friendships . In that spirit their reading
    today will be done by Pat’s childhood friend Matt Burgener, and Emily Lundgren, a dearchildhood pal of Lizzy.

  • stuckinarut2

    "What a wonderful occasion to be here. An occasion based on truth, honesty and sincerity. Nothing can stand in the way of these wonderful qualities. No doubt all of us here value these qualities, and base our very lives on the foundation of such personality assets. My dear friends _____ have certainly done this, and thats why we are here...It is a privilege to share a few words today as the 'best man'. etc...."

  • steve2

    As with most things JW, it’s the things that are banned, rather than the things approved, that defines their belief system. With that in mind, here is my special list of things not to say during your speech:

    Never mention that the groom was born a woman but has successfully transitioned to a man.

    Never include references to their children born out of wedlock.

    Never divulge that the special enriching ingredient in the wedding cake is albumen derived from pig’s blood.

    Never ask the attendees to stand and sing God Save the Queen (if in the UK or commonwealth) or the national anthem of the country hosting the wedding.

    Never tell “knock knock” jokes involving two attractive young witnesses knocking on your door.

    Never make a toast unless it involves bread.

    Never use your speech as an opportunity to warn the couple about sexual positions the Watchtower frowns upon.

  • Wasanelder Once
  • carla

    I suppose they would find this offensive?

    Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.”
    Matthew Henry

    If 1/3 are jw's then the other 2/3's would find this endearing. Think also of all the non jw's there.

  • Bella Henry
    Bella Henry

    I learned my lesson at my most recent JW gathering - keep moving. Keep the conversation light, friendly, superficial and fast paced. Don't stay and talk to any one person too long because that leaves the door open for them to ask all sorts of questions which are none of their business and which will just make things awkward.

    be a social butterfly and smile big. :-)

  • millie210

    Dont use the word luck! They dont like that word at all.

    Oh, and let me just say.....good luck with your speech.

  • menrov

    you could say that as best man, you are very pleased that the guy has waited until he was mature (in age) to make such an important decision. As marriage is a life changing decision for the rest of your life, it should never be taken at a young age (ref to teen baptisms)…..

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    @stuckinarut2 Hmmmm. We hate it when JWs use funerals as an opportunity to proselytize and recruit. Let's try not to take advantage of a wedding by doing the same for the dark side. In my opinion, just as funerals are no place for guileful witnessing, so should weddings not be a place for passive aggressive apostatizing. The occasion is strictly about the celebration of the person/couple in question :).

    My only advice: Don't get drunk and belt the speech out like it's open mic night. That's not just for the Witnesses present, but something that might be appreciated by both the bride and the groom. A lucid, eloquent speech about your love for them beats a fraternity ramble about the boys, boys, boys.

    Also, force of habit may see you resisting the urge to raise your glass in a manner that denotes a toast as you conclude your speech. There may be a chance that you COULD get away with the raised glass gesture, but try not to verbally instruct the audience to do so in like manner. Hopefully the unconscious act of mirroring will see the non-JWs raise their glasses in response.

    Best wishes to the best man.

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