Last act as an elder

by silas hobbs 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • silas hobbs
    silas hobbs

    I was just reminiscing about the last thing I did as an elder. After a painful awakening due to family matters,,deleted as an elder due to what i now have come to realize is normal children trying to be more than just zombie tag alongs who don't make problems for their parents and want to explore their talents and intellect. Mistakes and difficulties arise in families but real families do not resort to draconian measures when hormonally influenced children want to take a different path. Anyway I was deleted as an elder. It was painful as there was much envy and animosity that was under the surface by others on the body since I had so called privileges in the Org. Const work Worldwide, local RBC work etc. I really enjoyed these services but others were harboring resentment and when the opportunity arose they pounced.

    It was difficult.I wondered why people who were part of the ;most loving people on earth' would act this way. I will not go into the details of the difficulties but after a few years I was reappointed as an elder but the damage had been done to my psyche as far as my attitude to the Org was concerned.I continued to serve but doubts continued to grow and finally I went to the public library and started to do research on the history of JW's . The book was Raymond Franz's In Search of Christian Freedom. The blinders were off and i continued to research and became a lurker on these sites I knew there would be a day of reckoning if I did not move so my wife and i put our our home in seattle for sale and was planning a move to the outlying area,,it sold and we were moving in a month. I was assigned to be on a judicial committee. It dealt with a new sister who had fallen in love with a member of a trade group having a convention in the city.

    The other 2 elders wanted to DF as I could read the tea leaves so to speak as this sister was saying she could not tell what she would do if this man approached her again since she still felt this was 'love'.

    In front of the other 2 elders i explained that the answers she was giving to the questions she was being asked about were giving these elders ammunition to DF her , I explained what she needed to say from the elders manual about what repentance was according to JW's. Ithen told these 2 elders we should let her thank about matters. The meeting was then adjourned.

    I later found out that the Bro. whose wife had studied with her was my replacement and she was not Df'ed

    That was my last act to prevent this good person from becoming a victim of JW treachery

    My wife and I moved to another cong. {Des Moines} and I declined to serve again thinking to just lay low for awhile,but the matter came to a head later as I felt i could no longer be there let alone serve in any capacity.

    We moved to Phx. Az. and have been free of this evil, cult. ever since.

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    Yeah once you lose your "innocence" or naivety about this religion, you cannot support it or stomach it.

  • smiddy3

    The GB watchtower religion have no idea / nouse of what happens to youths developing into teenagers and what they are going through coming to terms with all of these conflicting emotions and hormonal changes they are going through .

    They are young and of course they will make mistakes ,however the religion expects them to be perfect and make no mistakes then DF them or publicly reproves them .making examples of them and shaming them in front of the congregation.

    Instead of helping them and guiding them through these troubling times they throw them under the bus.

    No wonder the JW youth are leaving in droves and are leading double lives .

    Then again maybe its a good thing providing the young ones see`s the lack of love and compassion and leaves the organization.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    I remember when one of my son's fell short of wt. rules and several elders told me how could my son even think of doing anything like that. In other words he was accused of having sex with her when in fact it was heavy petting. How they told me I was a awful father for letting him do that. I just looked at them and said "don't any of you remember what it was like when you were a teenager? Also I let them know I was not there when it happen. They acted like I was giving him a step by step instruction in heavy petting. Such idiots. I am so glad I don't have to deal with this anymore. Silas I totally understand where you are from. Have a peaceful life. Take care. Still Totally ADD

  • WillYouDFme

    My "last act" before I resigned was as the School Overseer.

    Every year during the service meeting, they interview the SO.

    I took this opportunity to say some things that should go without saying.

    1. I talked about how - if you are a JW and really feel people are going to die soon, you should take the school seriously, and really try and improve your writing, speaking, and teaching ability, and if you are not, what does that say about your true feelings. (Really this was meant as a slap in the face to all those self-righteous ones who love to talk but don't ever do anything).

    2. My fav was bringing out how "we" are about truth and accuracy. And when we give talks, especially elders, what we say really needs to be accurate, and how much of a disservice it is when we are not. I talked about how you would find up to date accurate information, especially when you are talking about any STEM subject (like the universe, or medical issues, creation...). How if we - especially as elders and servants, are not accurate that it goes against all the JC stood for.

    I gave an a few common examples:
    No the earth would not become a frozen ball of ice, or a cinder if it were just a little bit closer or farther from the sun.
    And I used one about divorce. How we always hear that 1/2 the marriages or more end up in divorce. I cautioned that it is not as simple as that. 1st you need to know how statistics work. In our hall we have a few who were divorced 2 and 3 times, how does that work as a total when there are couples who never have..

    Also there are countries Columbia, China and in the Islamic world, and even Brazil are in the single digits. So you can't use Blanket Statements, or Paint the World with broad strokes. Be accurate and NOT misleading because it helps your argument.

    I did it all with love and charm, but I saw specific people squirming in their seats, and not happy.

    F-them, and I am sure it was like punching the ocean, but I spoke my mind can called them out in the only reasonable way as an PIMO elder who was going to resign in a matter of weeks.

  • Giordano

    A lot of these stories resonate with me.

    By the age of 16 I had devoured the True Believer by Eric Hoffer. He was a social philosopher and published in 1950. He wrote about the commonalities in mass movements, religions, cultural traditions, politics etc. and the way that their followers were used.....and abused.

    Even at 16 I was aware that there was a vast difference between the congregations and the Society. There were the 'Friends' and there was the Corporation. I soon understood that there was a huge difference between both groups. Each had a different perspective. The friends were family orientated. And for the most part we were 'friends'. Which in my mind was the strongest appeal of being a JW. I sided with the friends and ignored the corporation.

    I pioneered where the need was great for three years serving in multiple congregation many public talks in our spread out circuit.

    Then slowly over a period of a few years the strangle hold the Society had on it's followers tightened.

    All of the evil things the Society has promoted over the years, like the Ban on Blood .......on going, the ban on transplants for over a decade, are things that cost lives, helped to destroy families and marriages.

    Discouraging higher education, layering on rules that became sins....adding regulations and procedures that failed then added more core do's and don'ts that went beyond scripture. Many of which could trip you up............. many only revealed at a JC.

    Then Shunning which is a diabolical punishment that is used to coerce obedience and used to silence a person. To shun is to punish well beyond normal. The responsibility to shun falls on parents and children so everyone gets punished in one way or another in the JW construct.

    By the time my wife and I left........ the mid 1960's........ the WTBTS was drifting to the reality many described on this subject.

    I put it to the failure of the Elder arrangement. And the failure of the WT Corporation which controls those Elders.

    Ego's have played a huge role in the dismantling of a corporation pretending to be a concerned loving religion.

  • nowwhat?
    Thank you for sharing this experience.
  • silas hobbs
    silas hobbs

    I appreciate all your comments. My 3 daughters have all taken different paths ,,my oldest daughter who was called out and DF'ed for , and i quote' being debauched' is now working on her Masters degree in Nursing after getting her BSN. She left the org having had her eyes opened. after her now jw ex was convicted of molesting her oldest daughter. She ,our granddaughter went through some horrible troubles,attempted suicide,but has now received some psychological help and is doing well . Now in her 2nd year in college.

    MIddle daughter still in but I think she is part PIMO. We have a sort of truce ,we don't talk about JW stuff and they do not shun us.

    3rd daughter never was baptized and is doing well. Married and the mother of 3.

    I continue to look forward to JW Org. getting all that it deserves. and thank God for sites like this where countless stories can be told of the heartless,unchristian conduct by its henchmen can be exposed.

  • Moster

    I think that Ray Franz's books have done so much for so many.. Bless his heart.

  • Vidiot
    WillYouDFme - "''...'Be accurate and NOT misleading because it helps your argument'... I did it all with love and charm, but I saw specific people squirming in their seats..."

    'Course you did.

    That's 'cause deep down, most people are aware that if you have to cheat to defend your beliefs...'re beliefs don't deserve to be defended.


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