Oh man, she's definitely brainwashing the kiddos. Adults have a hard time being around them and not getting sucked in. Kids have little chance against its power. Most of us here were kids raised in it. It's a mind fuck. With you, a "worldly" parent, they do stand more of a chance.
I would highly recommend you read a book called "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud. You need some my friend. She's got none. That's a typical JW though. The cult recruits and breeds narcissists. And narcissists get in relationships with people that will put up with their bullshit.
Again, you need to push hard for marriage counseling. She needs to understand the seriousness of this. Please read up on boundaries online if you won't read the book. You deserve better. Your kids deserve better. Honestly, she deserves better. Time to bring in healthy relationship tools.