I pass along this advice as a new topic, to get it past one off comments that may not get as much attention.
I exited the Jehovah's Witnesses about a decade ago. Like many, my personal situation felt too restrained to act on my impulse and get out quickly. I took about a year and a half to two years to leave via DA.
I empathize with anybody leaving the Watchtower who finds it difficult to falsify dedication, interest, and belief in both their personal and public life. After mentally migrating from conviction to non belief in the group's divine favor, it can feel extremely humiliating and defeating to publicly demonstrate faithfulness to the group.
That said, I think that the process of surviving "in between" belief and non belief in the group, especially while still remaining active within the community, can be easier navigated by following some of the following hard learned advice:
1. Each jw/ex-jw has their own journey. Don't take on the added burden of feeling the need to speed anybody else's up unless you've determined it to be an absolute last resort necessity (I think spouses fall into this category). This is because...
2. Your conduct probably will have the most lasting impact anyway. From speaking with many ex-jws over the years, a common theme I've always heard is that honest friendship and empathy are what people remember. If you get DF'd at some point down the road, it is harder for people to swallow if they liked you and you always demonstrated intelligence.
3. There are JWs that are descent people. They may believe some absurd stuff, but so did you. Yes, there are also some rather obnoxious JWs. But failing to remember the decent people you know means falling into the good/evil mindset trap. The good people will probably always been good people, and may also stay JW for the rest of their lives. I still see JWs 10 years later that say hi and act like I never left.
4. Do your guts turn into a pretzel every time you go to a meeting, feel like you have to give a comment, or lead a group prayer? I'm here to let you in on a little secret. It's OK to lie through your teeth, and it's ok to be a hypocrite. The idea of remaining "true to your personal convictions" is a concept the WTS has rammed down your throat. This is their ideal, but it doesn't have to be yours. You are dealing with some extremely heavy psychological forces. Do yourself a favor and learn to lie.
Any by learn to lie, I mean learn to push the words out of your mouth without feeling guilt, shame, or humiliation. Recognize that language is powerful, and by communicating to JWs what they need (not want, need) to hear, you are the one in control. Start brining up 1914 or something else most JWs only casually understand anyway is of no help for you.
5. Don't worry about being right or proving a point. It will only come back to bite you. Instead...
6. Figure out and write down the ways you can lower your commitment without consequence. What you contribute to the group, including time, money, and energy, is what the group is taking from you. This is what you need to correct above all else. So start to figure out how you're go about getting your life back, one step at a time. Sometimes it can start by just acting like a lousy JW. Know those people that don't study for meetings or keep up with the materials? Well that can be you. Rather than reading through all this stuff and getting worked up about it, you have the ability to just say no! I think I read more Watchtower literature while I was leaving than when I was actually active. That wasn't necessary! Just start to figure out how you can win something back for yourself, especially your personal time.
6. Choose your path. Are you looking to fade? Then you definitely need to learn how to lie. Looking to DA or just get DF'd? Write all the consequences on a piece of paper, look them over, and accept them. Deciding to remain partially active, or even fully active? Again, figure out your rules and stick to them. At any point you can switch your goals. But if you decide to start smoking and claim your trying to fade your basically not taking your fade seriously, so why even fade? Now your jeopardizing the fade, something you claim to want, and will be stuck depressed for getting DF'd and loosing things you put off accepting could be taken away. You're in a serious situation and choices matter. You typically can't have it all, you need to pick and acknowledge what can go bad, because it just might.
What I'm saying is that you should step back and realize that just because the JW leadership layers everything as a battle between good and evil doesn't mean you need to accept those terms. I think that by accepting, you make the situation more complicated and difficult than it may need to be. I know personally, a good bit of stress during my exit was self induced because I got wrapped up in the either/or drama than I should have bothered with.
I say this all knowing that most JWs, including Elders (maybe even especially Elders), arn't as serious about the faith as you think they are. At my hall, I could list 20-30 people that floated in and out of regularity that most folks paid little attention to. Possibly gossip about how inactive they are, but that is par the course. You're trying to survive, not worry about gossip. In fact, the serious/nasty behavior typically only comes out when they feel threatened.
Focus on winning back for yourself, it's worth it.