Hi Frenchy, picking up where we left off (on a tangent to the original post):
Is the song you're speaking of this Vince Gill one?
Maybe I didn't explain to well in my original post but it seems to me that the song you quoted and the film i quoted both deal with the same theme storytold in a different way - a head vs heart issue, or as you put it - duty vs happiness.
Thats all I was attempting to say. Is that what you meant by your quote? If this Vince song isn't the one you mean ( i know there's heaps like it out there ) it's the same theme. Is that your perception? Let me know if you don't think so.
Here's the first two lines of the second verse:
I knew this was wrong, I didn't listen
Cause a heart only knows what feels right
The way the word "heart" is used here, this is what i'm talking about. You could also call it "the little voice inside", "better judgement", "gut feeling", "instinct", "intuition" and so on.
when you say:
The second hardest thing he will ever do is tell his mistress goodbye and walk away. The hardest thing he will ever do is hold his wife while he’s in love with the other woman.
Your use of this this example to me is saying you feel that this is a duty vs happiness situation. I assume that duty = the logically correct, rational & explicable choice, an intellect based choice. On the other hand I assume you also mean happiness = the voice of the heart, an irrational inexplicable gut feeling.
Am I reading you right so far? -SolidSender
Solid: I’ve never seen the movie but I can relate to the scene in the barn as you described it. The woman is married and falling in love with the hired help, I’m assuming that’s the thrust of it. The decision is whether to pursue this and leave her husband or drop it and remain with her husband. Is that the choice that she is facing? If so, then whether or not it’s a simple choice is totally dependent on the person she is. Granted, the choice, i.e., stay or leave, is simple enough to state but the processes involved in making that decision is something else entirely. If you have never stood at the crossroads of decision, weighing out your own happiness against that of others in order to decide your path then I can well appreciate your viewpoint on the matter. There are times when the needs of others take precedence over our own needs and happiness. That is duty. Parents should be very aware of this as should husbands and wives. There is a song, which I think well illustrates this dilemma. I forget the singer and the writer (shame on me) but it’s the classic love triangle. The man is at his crossroads. The time has come to make the decision. Though he deeply loves his mistress, he cannot find one single thing that his wife has done wrong. She was there when times were tough, and she loves him dearly. The second hardest thing he will ever do is tell his mistress goodbye and walk away. The hardest thing he will ever do is hold his wife while he’s in love with the other woman. I truly hope that you (or anyone else for that matter) will never experience such a thing but if you can, hold that thought in your mind for a few moments and see if you can feel what he is feeling.
It could be argued that he should follow his heart inasmuch as he will never be completely true to his wife anymore --BUT…he could never be happy even with the woman he loves knowing the pain that he has caused his wife. The cost of his freedom was too great for him to ever forget it. He will go back to his wife ( it assumed she knows nothing about this or knows and still wants him) and he will find some satisfaction in knowing that at least she is happy. He will hurt terribly knowing that the other woman will hurt just as much as him. In this terrible, no-win situation, duty (as he perceives it) wins out over happiness….because his perception of his duty will not allow happiness without it anyway. In the end, a measure of satisfaction (contentment, peace) is achieved in the performance of his duty. Such is the power of the sense of duty and responsibility, of committment.
To a JW, his dedication to Jehovah God on the basis of what he has been taught by the WTS is stronger than his union with his mate. To leave the organization is more traumatic than a divorce. The person has to first convince himself that this organization has been 'unfaithful' and is unrepentant in its acts of 'unfaithfulness' and that this organization no longer (he believed it once did) loves him before he can detach himself emotionally and mentally from it. Even then...it is no easy task, memories remain, emotions still surface from time to time...No, my friend, there is nothing simple about it at all...