Leaving My Religion

by compound complex 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    A COOL SENSE OF TRANQUILITY calms my troubled spirit.

    I emerge slowly from deeply entrenched nightmares and proceed into gentle reverie, into quiet wakefulness. Youthful ideals, embodied in vaporous form on the street below, are a black reminiscence. They are certain to return as a want, an untold want, having neither name nor substance but providing a niggling dig that skewers my soul. I shut out the noise in my head: irrational thought, excessive thinking. I'm through with the insanity of earlier times.

    I see but darkly my amorphous reflection and sense it is a phantom, not the real me. From behind scudding clouds appears an awakened, gracious moon. She illumes my way, showing inner turmoil in a new light.

    This black shadow of the walking dead has disappeared.

  • scratchme1010
    scratchme1010

    Very nice.

  • tiki
    tiki

    Beautiful...love the shutting out of the noises in the head.....a child born in taking all the dogma seriously...naively believing and living each and every destructive word...I am 68 and still fight the haunts of my mind...

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thanks, scratchme1010 and tiki:

    Close to home, tiki, about a child taking it all in seriously -- me -- and those not. One of my children never did, from early on. scratchme said the same in his story.

    With gratitude.

  • humbled
    humbled

    Recalibration of the spirit is as you say, Coco, rough, beautiful, terrifying. Uncertain.

    Mostly I remember how often l would surrender my anxiety ( try to) with these ideas :“in the end it will be all right” or “all our tears will be dried”.

    I hope you are finding comforts enough,Coco, in the considerable good you do for others. When people learn to communicate and make music! That is lovely.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thanks, dear humbled! You words always cheer me up.

    Blessings and peace.

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