Have not had a visit in over a year

by dogon 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • dogon

    I have been out of the cult for over 20 years. I left when the idiots changed the meaning of Generation in 95 and the internet came to life giving me the links to see just what a mind numb bunch I was with. I now live in a populated area where there is a hall about half a mile away. When I moved here I was getting stops by JWs a couple times a month. The thing is I was told by my Grandfather now passed on when I lived in my home town that after I left I did not realize what a can of worms I opened up when I was approached by an elder and I told him I felt the org was a cult. I had been out for a few years and told this elder I had known for many years that I had been reading Franz and other history's of the cult and wanted nothing to do with it. This elder called me about two days later and wanted to show up to my home again with a fellow elder who was about as control freak as one can get. I replied nope not interested. I knew what he was after, to get me to repete what I had told him a few days before and then they could DF me. My Grandfather who was an elder at the time told me I did not get what a buzz I had created among the members of the org. I was out so did not really pay attention.I told this story to apply to now living in Fla and getting a visit about twice a month. About a year and a half ago I got visit from a member of the cult where I used to live. I pointed out I knew who he was and who I was. He was visibly uncomfortable. He left and since that time I have not had one visit.

    I would bet I am labeled an apostate and directed to stay away from my door. I did not understand how much they were afraid of apostates. LMAO. Anyone else have this situation?

  • ToesUp

    Funny you mention this. My spouse and I left over 3 years ago. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE knows why we no longer attend. We have not shared anything with anybody. They just know we don't attend anymore. Are we apostates or just inactive or are they one in the same? Anyway....we are avoided like the plague. They tried contacting us a few times and then gave up.

    I am sure the rumors are we are cheating on one another. Probably alcoholics and/or drug addicts. Our children have no direction and life overall is falling apart for us.

    They couldn't be further from the truth...life is better than ever. Kids are doing great!

  • DesirousOfChange

    DITTO to what ToesUp said.

    We knew it was best to STFU. I think we are perceived as "weak inactive" JWs. Stumbled by someone. Of course we also have pursued our materialistic lifestyle, as further proven by sending our kids to college. Oh well, so be it. I can hear them now -- "Doc and family are having their "Paradise" now."

  • ToesUp

    Exactly DOC.

    Kids are doing great but the still in family members say things like..."well, their kids may be doing well, in the world, BUT how are they doing spiritually? How is their relationship with Jehovah?" You know how it goes with JW's. They always have to out do everyone else or do you think they could be a bit jealous? Some of these ones who make comments like this are struggling financially.

  • dogon
    I had a business partner who was an elder in the hall for 16 years. He and I would talk and I never held back. My Grandfather told me you don't know how Daryl would not say a word of your bashing the Org. Once the other elder came to my home and I let it out [I guess I got jaded after years of Daryl not going off the rails on me bashing the org cult. He would even joke , like saying you just got out of one cult you don't want to get in another.] SHTF. The control freak elder was Norman Gardner. He was and as far as I know is an asshole supreme. Very few people are as narcissistic as this asshat. For the last years I was up north they would try every once in a while saying why do you care if we DF you? Just say you don't believe the cult is gods sole org on earth. I would say I am not going to give you rope to hang me. You want it you work for it. LOL.
  • Chook

    God has blessed you for a year. NO COMMENT is the only response Jesus taught us that.

  • LongHairGal


    I'm glad you left after the 1995 Generation thing. That shenanigan did it for me as well, except I didn't leave immediately. I did a "fade". I suspect this changed teaching caused a great many Witnesses to leave within the decade that followed.


    Let the idiots say you are "materialistic" because you are sending your kids to college or because you want to live a little better or have a roof over your head.

    TOES UP:

    Yep, they're jealous. I always said that. Them and their stupid remarks about "materialism", meanwhile they were not supporting me!!

    I'd tell them to get the hell away from me.

  • smiddy

    Not meaning to be pedantic Toesup however ,

    " we are avoided like the plague .They tried contacting us a few times and then gave up ."....?

    All in the same sentence ,one thought contradicts the other..Which is it ?

    "They avoided you like the plague ", or "They tried contacting us a few times and then gave up "

    Aside from that I`m glad for you and your spouse , life is better for both of you and your kids.

    Sorry if I `m being a little picky .I do appreciate your posts.

  • Phizzy

    I have received a few visits over the last two or three years, from different elders, before that R&F used to knock once in a while.

    I can see the R&F have been told to not call, I observe them calling on the houses around me, but passing mine by.

    I guess the Elders have warned them not to call as they know that I throw down the gauntlet and say "Prove to me that what you now teach is the truth". These Elders know that an unwary JW who took up the challenge would learn that they do not teach truth.

    What does this say about the integrity of these Elders, and are they not really "awake" at least to some degree ?

  • ToesUp


    When we first started our fade, we had a few try to contact us. Don't get me wrong. I appreciated the ones who did it. The problem that I had was, these ones who were trying to "encourage us" were not there for us when we were still in. I don't want to give too many details away but we went through a stressful financial time, due to a lay off. Not even a bit of concern from the BOE. We weren't asking from money, just a bit of true encouragement during a stressful time. I was over it and decided to leave. I wish that I could tell my whole story but I can't right now.

    Don't get me wrong, I am the type of person who feels, you can't leave and want "friends" to stay away and then b*tch when they come around.

    The issue that I have is, why weren't these ones around when we needed them? Imagine you have a child whom you never show any affection to, never told them you love them. One day, the child now 18 years old, has his bags packed and is moving out. I say, why are you moving out? The child replies, you have never shown me any affection or concern. All of a sudden, after 18 years, I tell my child, I love you. My question....why didn't I show love when I had the opportunity?

    WT has taught me to be contradictory, I guess. They developed a brochure entitled, Come back to Jehovah and then had an entire assembly on shunning inactive ones. Which one is it? I guess my 40 something years in this religion has really scarred me. I am working on a lot of things right now.

    As many on this have experienced, my story goes way back. We suffered many years with, "something is just not right here." NOW, we don't feel this way anymore. We NOW know what the "something" is...TTATT.

    I hope my explanation here helps. I guess we all struggle a bit. We are moving forward and looking to the future, not living in the past. This forum helps me feel, not so all alone in my struggles.

    We get one shot at a happy life. I am enjoying it....one day at a time.

    Have an awesome weekend smiddy!

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