by Heartsafire 65 Replies latest jw friends

  • StephaneLaliberte

    Heartsafire: Everyone's reasons to wake up and leave are different and thus, you may have to try your husband on different angles and see what makes the most impact.

    1. Prophecies: 607 being wrong
    2. Changing teachings: Looking at what was though in 1919 when Jesus "chose" the Bible Students
    3. Biblical teaching: The pyramid of Gizeh used by Russell
    4. Jehovah not being actually the name of God
    5. Blood issue
    6. Governing body openly admitting they are not inspired and do not perform miracles and yet, request the same authority as the apostles
    7. Shady way of handling the contributions
    8. Sexual Abuse of the children
    9. Being an NGO for 10 years.

    You could be very surprised to hear that I knew all of the above (For over 8 years) and still had no issues with it... that is... until I had kids of my own. It is only at that moment that I realized that I would not be able to teach my kids what I knew for fear of being eventually disfellowshipped for Apostasy. It is only then that I came to understand that the "good fruits" I thought the organization was showing could be questioned.

    I sat down with my wife, and we reviewed all the blessings we had seen in the truth, over the last 10 years, as a couple. We then compared them to all of the bad things we saw as well. Result: we were far from being in a spiritual paradise! The tree was producing a lot of bad fruits.

    Though shocked by our finding, we came to realize what we had done over the years: we'd give credit to the WT for all the good things and blame the individuals for the bad things; as instructed by the WT itself. However, this approach is completely illogical otherwise, the exact same logic could be applied to every religions and groups out there.

    Finally we saw it: the fruits of the WT were not good enough to be the "true" religion. The fruits put forth by the watchtower, such as preaching, meeting attendance, constructions, and other measurable actions have nothing to do with the fruits of the spirit mentioned in Paul’s letter to the Galatians. So that night, we decided to fade out.

  • Vanderhoven7

    'if spiritual Israel is limited to just 144,000 , why does the apostle Paul hear clearly state that the sons of spiritual Israel will outnumber the sons of literal Israel ?' Galatians 4v22-27 Nightvision

    Excellent! Thank you.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Welcome! this forum is jam-packed with years of helpful info so you are in the right place.


  • no-zombie

    Hi Heartsafire,

    A lot of us here have wives or husbands who are still fully committed to the organization. I love my wife and we've been married a very long time but unfortunately she just doesn't want to see what going on. And while many have already given some advice, I have a little too. Use this site to vent or ask questions. Its helped me a lot to come to terms with the fact that I'm not alone in the way I'm thinking. And in regards to your husband, you know that most witnesses do try to do the right thing and I'm sure he is trying too. But trying to change how someone else thinks is very hard indeed and may only cause other unintended problems. Clearly though, the society is dying and recently events has shown it has taken a turn for the worse. I'm hoping is that soon, it will become so obvious that the things are not right that even the most die hard brother or sister will see it. And we can be there to pick up the pieces when our family finally catch on. Hope its been helpful.


  • never a jw
    never a jw


    Call me sexist, I still may be, but I read your post and assume you were a man. Yes, 50 years of a patriarchal society's indoctrination -- and a Pew research that indicates there are still a lot more women than men inside the Org--- makes me think that the first one to wake up are usually men. But it's not so lately. That's just great! Now I can claim women are just as smart as men, without forcing myself to be politically correct. Thank you! I wish you the best in your quest to set things right.

  • Crazyguy
  • KiddingMe

    Welcome Heartsafire!

    I am another one with an active spouse. I'm still active, for now. Just trying to hang in here for appearances, while I help my kids see the real truth of this religion and hopefully in the process my husband will open his eyes.

    There's a lot of great support here. Keep posting!

  • LisaRose

    Welcome Heartsafire! Great opening post. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to seek the truth and go where the evidence lead you. It seems so simple, but the reality is people just don't often do that.

    I would encourage you to read "Mistakes were made ( but not by me)" by Carol Travris, to learn about cognitive dissonance and why as humans we tend to discount information that does not confirm our previously held beliefs. It might make you more aware of what will work when talking to your husband. Getting an indoctrinated spouse to see the truth is not easy, some marriages break up, some continue on but divided, a few have gotten a loved one out, you may be able to also. As I am sure you already know, the direct approach does not work.

    Lisa 🌹

  • FayeDunaway
    Heartsafire, the first half of your posts sounds so much like me!! I doubted but went along for a long time until there was a particular issue I was going through, which led me to start reading the bible, just reading, especially the New Testament and the book of John with a completely blank slate. I said to myself 'without any former indoctrination, what would I believe after simply reading this?' Well it was obvious that everyone who believed in Jesus was supposed to partake of the bread and wine. Duh!!! Actually so many events converged in my life that told me I had to get out SOON. My oldest was reaching 'unbaptized publisher' age. I stayed for one more memorial after waking up about partaking, and felt like crap for passing the emblems, promised myself I never would pass them again. And I didnt! We faded and I joined a liberal Protestant church (after researching every doctrine and different churches!) Also, you don't need to agree on everything, people are free to their own interpretations, it's only the big stuff that matters (Christ died for us). Anyway, I woke up my husband enough to the point he was happy not being active and going to meetings any more. I just stayed in scripture and showed him things I was learning. Now he comes with me to church sometimes but it's really not his thing, which is ok. He's actually a lot happier not being a witness. He loves the free time! I wish you a smooth transition, and even if you aren't successful getting your husband to have an open mind, make sure you assure him you're not going anywhere. Many husbands think their wife is going to leave them or go wild or something and it makes them feel very insecure and that is a source of a lot of their anger when they see you having conflicts with the religion.
  • kairos
    Happy you are here with us.

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