Do you think its stupid that JWs can't date regular people?

by nowawake14 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • nowawake14

    That is absolutely the number one rule that I resent.

    I feel sorry for some of those poor dependent minded jws who can't find anyone to marry. ALL because they were only allowed to be with witnesses. What a bunch of boloney! I'm too rebellious and just want to be with whoever I want, because I love them for them, and not because theyre a Witness. Thats what should count.

    And yes, people in the real world have other issues you need to watch out for too. A lot of creeps out there. I would just really try and look for the decent ones. They'res 7 billion people. There's got to be a nice man somewhere! Although we're not perfect. Just be careful.

    I hardly have ever been attracted to JW guys. I've only ever crushed on celebrities or just other regular people. Most witness guys I've grown up with were kinda dorks, to be honest. Except for maybe a rare cutie. It was either that they were weird or they were too "witnessy" for me lol. Im sorry. Im very picky. What about you guys? Feel the same here sometimes?

    I wanna hear so I can have a good laugh :D

  • Cerise

    Hey I sent you a private message

  • Finkelstein

    The JWS as a religion has the same divorce rate as the general population, I wonder why ?

    Its not unusual for this to happen though for other religions promote or influence this as well.

    Some even have more restrictions to whom individuals marry.

    Religions in a lot of ways is a vehicle of power and control over people by select men who say they are being guided by god's holy spirit (power).

    Its a lie of course but it does cultivate power and control and this effects many facets of people's lives who are willing to be subservient and subjective to that power.

  • JeffT

    Can't date regular people? Hell, they can't even date each other. My wife and I were both converts (we met about the time we got baptized). Having been "out in the world" we knew what dating looked like. This led to counsel about spending too much time together alone. I don't know how you're supposed to learn anything about somebody you can't even have a private conversation with.

    We've been married a bit more than 44 years, seems to have worked out OK.

  • Betheliesalot

    Dating is a hassle, I think the Indians have it best by choosing for their kids.

  • APieceOfShitNamedTate
    Yet another reason to be depressed, hearing a member of the opposite sex talk about how dorky and weird JW guys are. I just wish they could cut us some slack, especially those of us that were born in. It's not our fault that our parents chose to raise us in a cult. Maybe if we could have been raised in the real world, and allowed to experience normal developmental milestones, then maybe we wouldn't be so weird and dorky. I struggle every single day to just feel and act normal. I try not to think about all the things I missed out on, even at my age. When I think about the man I could've been without the brainwashing, it's a struggle to even get out of bed.
  • Tameria2001

    When I was still in my mother insisted that I get married to either an elder or a regular pioneer. I think she said that because if I had it would have raised her status in the organization in her mind. Fellow JWs would tell me that whomever I married should love Jehovah more than me - Gag. Dating was a real pain in the arse as a witness. Needless to say I did none of the above. The guy I finally got married to hated the JW - I am brother prick attitude and he loved me more than you know who. That was 25 years ago.

  • no-zombie

    Quite frankly I've always hated the word "dating", even when I was in mentally. What does "dating" really mean? Are people talking about "courting" or the casual or recreational socializing with those of the opposite sex? Even as an Elder, I always had the opinion (both personally and scripturally) that if a person is seriously looking for a mate and conducts themselves honorably in the sight of God, then its up to them ultimately who they marry. However, if "dating" is just an excuse for stretching sexual boundaries, then I've seen nothing good comes from doing it.

    In our case, my wife and I, made the time while we were courting to personally discuss every private matter we could think of ... every thing, no matter how difficult and painful it was. We married as virgins and after over 30 years, we still have a good marriage together. As a result, I'm forced to believe that there is still something to be said for the traditional customs that many claim as restrictive.

    So in summary, my little pearl of wisdom is this - If a person acts seriously about a matter, then they'll get a serious result ... but if they are just fucking around, things generally get fucking complicated. (Excuse my French)

    no zombie

  • moreconfusedthanever

    My mother was praying that I find a spiritual man to marry so I would have a good spiritual head.

    I ended up marrying a ministerial servant.

    We are both out now. Living happily ever after.

  • zeb

    Slightly lateral on this subject. Its been my experience that jw are at least two years behind their "worldly" peers in mental and social development.

    Add to that the pressures brought by the wt and the 'dragon-class' of wt mothers and you have recipe for emotional disaster.

    and regards discussing everything how in hell can a couple discuss ..anything ......when their is a minder with them and no doubts either, one who will relay all and everything onto the Kingdom Gossip Line.

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