Well, it is clear now that the instructor did not mean what she said. "Attendance is not mandatory, if you feel that you can pass the tests without coming to class then so be it" I, too, make people accountable for what they say, not what I think they might mean. Now the instructor is telling you that she is hurt and offended that you deem her superfluous in your goal to pass the course. She is also trying to make you personally responsible for her corresponding drop in self-esteem.
Trying to please everybody by reading their minds is a one-way trip to the loony bin.