Elders Advice Backfired And Now Im The Happiest I've Ever Been

by pale.emperor 28 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pale.emperor

    Just wanted to update you guys of the amazing couple of weeks i've had in recovering from the cult.

    I was attending the meetings still just so i could see my daughter in the Kingdom Hall and have her sit we me half the time. I had no intention of ever becoming a JW again but was hoping to be re-instated and just not turn up ever again so i could at least see my family. But then an elder said something to me that changed all that. He was trying to be hard-ball with me with the idea that it'd make me "man up" and return to Jehovah - little did he know he actually helped speed up my recovery from the bOrg more than anything.

    At convention time a few weeks ago my ex-wife went with her family and of course our 2yo daughter. On the Sunday our daughter suddenly became very ill and was vomiting constantly and becoming distressed. The "first aid" people didn't know what to do (why would they? non of them have been to college have they?) so my daughter was sent to hospital to be examined. Turns out she'd found a bottle of day old milk that has been festering in a plastic bag and drank it. (Im not gonna go into how irresponsible her mother was for not watching her closely enough).

    Anyway. This happened on the Sunday - i wasn't told about it until TUESDAY. So annoyed i rang an elder in my old congregation who took my wife and daughter to the hospital asking why i wasnt informed. His reply: "We were concerned that you would turn up to the convention arena and in trying to help you would talk to JW's".

    Anyway. After a long discussion about what Jehovah wants and what selfish Pale.Emperor wants we ended the discussion. He finished by saying "As JW's we have a loving family-like relationship which you're no longer a part of. Dont you wish you could come back into this loving family?"

    And my answer was so easy... no.

    No i dont wish to be part of some wierd family relationship where we all have to agree on the same thing in order to be part of that family. To be loved on the basis that i have the same religion and the same opinions as everyone else. Hell, i'd rather my family and friends have different thoughts and interpretations - that way we can have some great insightful and reflective conversations over dinner, around a fire or on walks and at the end of it all still be friends.

    The support off you guys on here has been phenomenal. John Cedars YouTube videos have been informative and highly entertaining at time too.

    So... i stopped attending meetings and spent my Thursdays and Sundays doing something more worthwhile. I've met a wonderful woman who likes me just the way i am and hasn't made me feel like i should be doing more, reaching out for some sort of "privilege", nor do we ask someone elses permission before we make decisions. It was so nice to get with someone without religion being the reason you get together. I spent my Sunday in hers chilling out and laughing.

    I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm 100% out of the WT society and i'll never look back. Sure, i have no family but i accept that the way it is and im determined to be a good guy and deal with whatever life throws at me without relying on a future cataclysm to come and wipe out people who disagree with me.

  • DJS

    Most Excellent PE!!

  • tiki


    And barf on the don't you wish you were part of the family.....they are so delusional it amazes me. Best of everything to you and your new found freedom!!

  • ToesUp

    "As JW's we have a loving family-like relationship which you're no longer a part of. "

    Who says this to anyone? I would not even say this to an animal, much less another human being. I would have had a really hard time containing my response. Satan would have gotten a hold of me. lol

    PE...continue to enjoy your life. JW's are a wart on the ass of humanity.

    Like DOC says..."living a happy successful life is the best revenge."

  • Heaven

    PE... love equals abuse in this religion. Your experience shows that. As for 'being part of a "loving" (aka abusive) family' there is nothing... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING... that Botchtower can do to change the fact that you are your daughter's Father. I do hope you can still be a part of her life. Show her unconditional love. She will soon see the difference between them and you.

  • rebelfighter

    Exactly what Heaven said above. I never once said a negative thing about my children's father in front of or to them. In time they made their own decision. My daughter is getting married in October, although her father will be attending she stated mom you raised me YOU will walk me down the aisle.

    Kids know very early what is going on, what is right, what is wrong they do not need to be told. They can sense right from wrong. If you are happy they can sense that also. Try always to be positive when you are with your daughter.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Beautifully put Pale Emperor. Who wants an artificial family where the relationship is created by submission to mad beliefs instead of human closeness?

    Enjoy the richness of the human world.

  • ToesUp

    Great post rebelfighter.

    Don't use your kids to get back at your wife. Let your child see the correct way. Kids watch their parents.

  • sir82

    I spent my Sunday in hers

    Ermmm....you spent your Sunday in her what, exactly?

  • rebelfighter


    Thanks but that is the way I raised my children. I guided my kids, my mother told me what to do even when I was 50 years old, does not mean I listened. So I made it my policy never to tell my children what to do but to always give them plenty of resources and the ability to make decisions through critical thinking. I would of course stir them away from illegal choices.

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