two jokes

by greven 6 Replies latest social humour

  • greven
    greven

    WHY PARENTS HAVE GREY HAIR

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes," whispered the small voice."May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there anyone else there in your house?" the boss asked the child. "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child."Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed hushed voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle:

    "Me." A BLONDES JOKE: A blind man goes into a womensbar. He walks up to the tap and orders a beer. After a while he decides to cheer the place upa bit and asks the person behind the tap: "Hey would you like to hear a blondes joke?" The entire bar instantly falls silent. With a deep menacing voice the female next to him says "Before you go on sir there are five tings you need to know:

    One: The person behind the tap is a blonde female. Two: The bouncer is a blonde female.
    Three: I am a 1,90 meters tall, 100 kilo's heavy blond female with a black belt in karate.
    Four: The female next to me is blond too and is a professional weight lifter.
    Five: The female on your other side is also blond and does wrestling for a living.

    I advise you to think this over. Do you still want to tell your joke?"

    The blind man thinks this over for e few seconds, shakes his head and says:
    "Nah, not if I have to explain it five times." Feel free to add a few of your own! Greven

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    I shouldn't, but LMAO @ blondes joke

  • greven
    greven

    So...you are not going to hit me? And I bought a whole suit of armor!

    Greven..

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    Lol, forgive me for hitting you, I was in a hitting mood...

  • greven
    greven

    **rumble! peeep! clang! dinggg! ssqeek!*

    **Greven walks in wearing his suit of armor**

    **Poses proudly**

    "You can hit me if you like! I am ready for it!"

    BTW I made you an exception: see here

    Greven

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    hehe, I'm blond (what's left of it) so I have complete liberty to add another:

    A blond goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I think I'm dying...I hurt all over. I touch my ankles, they hurt; I touch my hips, they hurt; I touch my back, it hurts; I touch my scalp, it hurts...everywhere I touch, it hurts." So, he does some tests and x-rays...comes back to the exam room and says, "You have a broken finger."

    Craig

  • greven

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit