I try not to judge people by appearance..

by The Rebel 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    but I am not sure how.

    Any advice?

  • truth_b_known

    I think this delves into the area of instinct, which is something hardwired into us at birth. At least to a certain extent.

  • StephaneLaliberte

    Jumping to conclusions based on people’s behavior and appearance is not necessarily all bad. To give a blatant example, what if someone shows up in a bank with a ski mask? Perhaps he simply forgot to take it off after walking in a storm. But would you blame the clerk if he was afraid of that person if that man in the mask didn’t take it off, even at the counter?

    In the end, it’s a matter of how much risk you are willing to take and if your judgment is based on experience and facts rather than hear say.

    For instance: If I see a kid on the street wearing his pants so low that everyone can see his underwear, I would not judge. Why? Cause I don't care. But if that same kid asked to rant an apartment of mine, I'd say no. Why? Why take the risk? I know that those living outside of social norms often see themselves as a victims of everyone else and lack accountability. Sure, I am jumping to conclusion and am adversely passing judgement on someone who could be very dependant. Still, I don’t have the ability to take that risk. If at some future time, I find myself in a position to take such a risk, I’ll say yes.

    The point is that I do not harbour any hatred for such people, but I still have the right to decide which risks I am willing to take at this point of my life.

  • S K Ditta
    S K Ditta

    Fewer people; more time!

    Nice subject.

  • punkofnice

    We have certain expectations in people including ourselves. When these are not met we may be a bit judgemental. It may be justified or not.

    Each case on its own merits.

  • S K Ditta
    S K Ditta


    Neil Young...similar idea as yours...in a song

  • LoveUniHateExams

    Judging people by appearance is a part of human behaviour, evolved over many thousands of generations.

    If I turned up for a job interview without bothering to shave, I can guarantee I wouldn't get the job.

    If a Middle Eastern/Indian-looking guy with beard and backpack sat next to me on a plane, I'd feel nervous.

    In some ways it's good that you are trying not to judge people from appearance but I think judging on appearance needs to be acknowledged as part of normal behaviour before it can be dealt with and modified (but not necessarily jettisoned).

  • S K Ditta
    S K Ditta
    normal behaviour


    people’s behavior

    "appears" different...but, means the same.

    Worth a thought, isn't it?...you be the "judge".

  • waton

    judging by appearances is politically incorrect, so there is an incentive, and helps you settle for the mate that is not a trophy catch.

  • tor1500


    Judging your ownself, would you like to be judged by YOUR APPEARANCE ONLY. Would you like to be judged without the person even knowing you ?

    Things and people are not always what they look like...everyone needs a benefit of the doubt...appearances can be deceiving...

    I do know what you mean....sometimes we take folks for face value....if you have trouble judging people by how they appear....all you can do is work on it...what is at the root of this issue...as someone said here...it's natural to judge on appearance...don't be so hard on yourself...you are only human....

    Humans do all kind of stuff, we get depressed, we gossip, we judge....those are just human frailties that we all have...it's when you take some of this things to another level...I think we look at ourselves too much... we pick at things in us that is just natural, although being in the org...if you already have issues when the org. finishes with you you will have more and the issues you do have will never be addressed, being a witness doesn't help some feel better...I find trying to encourage a JW...don't even try, the more you try to encourage them the worse they feel about themselves..

    Just remember you have to work on it....if it's natural for you to do this it will take time...don't beat yourself up about it....the first step is that you realize it....so now you can attempt to do something about it....if you can or want to....But always remember, if you don't want to be judged by your appearance (because one day you might be going out just to the store, you might just put on a pair of jeans, old shoes, may not even comb your hair, only because you are just running out to the store...now someone sees you...and say, wow is this bum in the store...viola, you were judged by your appearance...they might think you are a robber by your dress, but here you are just running to the store for some milk...

    I like what someone said....they saw a middle eastern person with a backpack...I know what they mean, I live in NYC...that's a common site...and of course....there are signs in the subway that say, if you see something say something....so if we judged everyone by appearance, folks would be judged or brought into court, precincts for just the way they look....

    It's really the golden rule I'm talk'in about here...


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