Watchtower's Minister of Information Goes Public

by Gerard 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Gerard

    Watchtower's Minister of Information

    "Our initial assessment is that the infidels non-JWs will all die"

    "God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis Elders."

    "Who are in control, they [apostates] are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!"

    "We are not afraid of the Americans non-JWs. Allah Jehovah has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."

    "The Americans non-JWs, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies."

    "I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, some JWs have started to commit suicide reject blood transfusions under the walls of Baghdad Brooklyn. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."

    "I can assure you that those villains apostates will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they we are pretending things which have never taken place."

    "This week we have destroyed 2 tanks families, fighter planes independent thinking, 2 helicopters elderly women and their shovels grand daughters - We have driven them back shunned them."

    "The authority of the civil defense GB ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps tools for independent thinking and significant personal achievements."

    "The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"

    "I have detailed information about the [UN membership] situation...which completely proves that what they allege are illusions . . . They lie every day."

    "Lying is forbidden in Iraq KHs. President Saddam Hussein Milton Henschel will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is [NOT] encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."

    "Now even the American Silent Lamb's command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there. But at the end we are the people who are laying siege to them. And it is not them who are besieging us."

    "Let the American infidels apostates bask in their illusion freedom"

    "I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad the world ended in 1925."

    "Britain education is not worth an old shoe"

    "blood-sucking bastards" [those who accept a blood transfusion.]

    Of US troops shunned people: "They are most welcome. We will butcher them." We will welcome them with bullets and shoes."

    “We have placed them [shunned daughters and sons] in a quagmire from which they can never emerge except dead”

    "These cowards sexualy abused children have no morals. They have no shame about lying"

    "They're not even [within] 100 miles of Baghdad Brooklyn. They are not in any
    place. They hold no place in Iraq Heaven. This is an illusion ... they are trying to sell to the others an illusion."

    "They do not even have control over themselves! Do not believe them!"

    "They are not in Baghdad the internet. They are not in control of any airport computer. I tell you this. It is all a lie. They lie. It is a hollywood movie. You do not believe them. Do not log on the internet!"

    "Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly." [Unedited]

    "We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's Milton Henschel's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans apostates a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."

    "On this occasion, I am not going to mention the number of the infidels JWs who were killed shunned and the number of destroyed vehicles families. The operation continues"

    "We're giving them Silent Lambs a real lesson today. Heavy doesn't accurately describe the level of casualties we have inflicted."

    "We went into the airport South America and crushed them, we cleaned the WHOOOLE place out, they were slaughtered asimilated"

    "This is unbased"

    "Search for the truth. I tell you things and I always ask you to {not} verify what I say."

    "I have detailed information about the situation . . . which completely proves that what they allege are illusions . . . They lie every day."

    "Listen, this explosion Devil does not frighten us any langer. The cruise missiles Devils do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days we managed to shoot down 196 missiles ghosts before they hit their target."

    "There are no Iraqis Elders disguising themselves".

    Question: Is Saddam Hussein Milton Henschel still alive ?
    "I will only answer reasonable questions"

    On U.S. General Richard Myers Bill Bowen: "He must be crazy. His reports are basic propaganda".

    Rumsfeld Ray Franz is a "crook" and "the most despicable creature."

    "The WTBTS does not own stocks on Regi, US, RandCam Engine Corp, or Rand Energy Group. They were given to us 16 years ago but since we did not know it we are not accountable for their products, only for their profits."

    "We are winning!"

  • Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
    Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.

    Give in to your paranoia and remember that they ARE watching.

    A good result from much effort - 9/10. The cheeses Literary Award is bestowed upon you.


  • Pistoff

    VERY good;

    PS.......Milton died two weeks ago, but maybe that is your point: he is out of touch?

  • figureheaduk
  • figureheaduk

    Nice one!

    Reminds me of a thread i started last week, but this one's way cooler!

    Eternal Respect

    Fig (of the useless pub quiz team class)

  • neyank


    This is good.


  • stichione

    Good work! It must have taken you hours do complete the post!!

  • Francois

    Cheeses Literary Award. No Way. This sucker is getting Fearless Frank's Famous Plagaristic Award of the Week. This Baghdad Bob story has been around, even here, for at least a week.

    Great Green Globs of Granulated Gorilla Grunt.


  • elumn8


  • Gerard
    This sucker is getting Fearless Frank's Famous Plagaristic Award of the Week

    Dear Francois, no plagium here, all is original, courtesy of my coffee break time. I challenge you to find a copy anywhere.

    Long beard to you,


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