A man walks into a pub with a monkey.
He goes to the bar and the monkey runs off causing a riot. While he is enjoying his drink the monkey is out of control.
It jumps up onto the pool table and eats the cue ball. The landlord runs up to the man and says: 'Did you see what your monkey has just done?' 'No,' saays the man. 'He's just swallowed the cue ball!'
The man, a bit embarrassed grabs the monkey and leaves the pub.
About 2 weeks later, the man returns with his monkey. Again, the monkey runs around causing a riot.
While he's drinking at the bar, the monkey finds a grape on the bar, sticks it up its arse, and then eats it.
The barman runs up to the man again and says: 'Did you see what that disgusting creature has just done?'
'No' says the man.
'He's just stuck a grape up it's arse and then swallowed it!'
'Well, what do you expect...' says the man 'Since that cue ball, he measures everything before swallowing it.'