CHICKENS!

Shakita

QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road and it represented the application of these two
different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.

COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite
image of The chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete
fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
his was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by
the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much
more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been
told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend
to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

Mrs. Shakita

teenyuck

LOL! That was great!

cruzanheart

Thanks! That went well with my coffee and donut!

Nina

Prisca

THE IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER:

That chicken was an infidel, and thus was shot to a thousand pieces by the faithful Iraqi people, we shot that chicken because it was heading towards Baghdad. But there are no infidel American soldiers near Baghdad, none at all. There are no infidels near Baghdad at all.

nowisee

very very funny. thanks.

rocky220

Good one!!!! rocky220

foreword

Now that was funny....

rocketman

Thanks Sahkita....got that one in an e-mail some time back, always a good laugh.

Kenneson

He he he he he he! Almost cockamamy.

Pleasuredome

WTS

the chicken decided to cross the broad and spacious road that leads to detruction, as it was not one of us, there is where its clucking and pecking of beak will be.

CHICKENS!

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