more Bob :(

by LP_gurl 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • LP_gurl

    Had a good phone convo with Bob tonite. Well I guess it depends on your definition of good but anyways. Here's how it went. He spewed for an hour straight about why we can't talk anymore and that unless I become a witness, we can no longer have any contact. (this includes no email). So I'm like "tempting.....but no thanks". I'm a strong willed person, and I know I could handle becoming a witness if I truely wanted. Hell, I graduated college at the age of 18, top of my class, living away from home. If someone dares me to do something usually I'll do it and do it well. Anyways, as Bob is going on and on blah blah blah all I can think of is "geez, if I became a witness I'd prolly end up dating this guy, getting engaged. Hell, I'd have a husband! On the other hand, if I become a witness I'll lose myself completely along with my family" I already gave up going to Devry for a guy (long story, don't ask), why should I give up my entire way of life for a guy now? and then give up myself for an organization???'s hard though. Almost too easy to say what the hell and go become a witness (i know, it's not all that simple or easy). So hard realizing that was the last time I'll ever EVER hear his voice or hear from him again. Only myself to blame though. I think I'll go cry.

  • blueyes


    Welcome to the JWD forum.

    I will not drag on with a diatribe about the JWs, because I have over 20 years experience - born into the cult. I am a man of few words, but I see a possible emotional train wreck in your situation.

    Let me give you some helpful advice, as I would my own sister, if I had one. First, don't get into a serious relationship at 18. If you have your act together as I suspect you do, then make the most of it and start a career that will sustain you and not make you dependent. Then if you decide to marry, you will have a career, should something happen to your spouse, or if the marriage goes south for some reason. Second, we buy insurance for our vehicles, but too many people don't consider an education and career as a form of insurance.

    As for the j-dubs, please don't enter that cult just to please somebody. That cult requires your heart and soul and teaches conditional love for family members, among other disturbing beliefs. I know firsthand the effects of this cult.

    I wish the best for you LP.




    Big hugs from myself, and I'm sure many others on here.

    What you did was not only courageous, but very wise.

    When I read that you had graduated from college with top marks, I knew you were a very bright young woman! Great!

    Keep in mind, if you were to become a JW, post-secondary education and achieving any degree etc., is frowned upon. Bob will have his brain cells stifled by JW teaching.

    It's too bad, and yes, it is incredibly sad. Here you offered him unconditional love, yes? What did he offer: conditional love - based upon conditions.

    You don't need that my dear.

    It's OK to cry, and it will help release some pent up anger and sadness. If some of our big sister forum members were nearer to you, I'm sure they'd offer you heaps of comfort. I can only extend my kind regards via this forum.

    I'm very proud of you LP_Gurl.

    When you do meet that 'special someone', please let us know.

    I'm sure we'll remember you, someone who we know: Knew Better

    Kindest Regards, Rayzorblade.

  • JamesThomas

    Bob comes with so many strings attached, he is literally(sorta) a wooden puppet. Wait for a real, warm, flesh and blood guy to come along. It's Spring. Go backpacking and have some fun. JamesT

  • calamityjane

    First off LP, welcome to forum.

    Take JT's advice. Your life would be more fulfilling in many ways without Bob.

  • NaruNaruChan

    LP, you just made the best decision of your life.

    If you stick around on here, you'll read stories of people who made that mistake, and ended up wasting a third of their lives in a miserable relationship... sure, you have the person, but the baggage is a Kingdom hall, a set of strict dogmatic rules, and a lot of other shit too lengthy to go into detail over. I'm 21 and my best friend just did that for a sister... he's wrecking his life. .. So good for you. Cry, get it out of you, and then find a guy who will appreciate you for who you are and never ask you to change. ^_^ You're awesome and strong, girl! ***MAJOR APPLAUSE***

  • bikerchic


    I'm sorry you are going through a break up, just count your blessings that you are getting away from that J-dub mentality of conform or else.

    In the meantime here is something you can do to humor yourself, sorta like a voodoo doll:

    Have fun!


  • rocketman
    rocketman's for the best, no question. Also, look at the conditions you were put under: no talking, no contact even by e-mail, until you become a jw (just as we predicted he'd say on your last thread). So you're going to take on some religion for a guy you haven't met or dated? It's a bad deal. A very bad deal, and I don't care what religion it is.

    You've got a college education and a lot of other things going for you, so you'll be okay once the pain subsides.

    btw, [email protected] bikerchic's doll.

  • Charmed

    Sorry about your break-up. Trust me that you do not want to lose your family for an organization. Bob is so brainwashed he would never be able to give himself to you fully. I think you are doing the right thing, no matter how hard it may be.

  • Jayson

    Hi LP,

    I'm sorry that your relationship is now an ultimatum. I know there are lots and lots of support here if you need it.


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