Disassociation letter

by BeautifulMind 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • BeautifulMind
    Thanks for all of the advice guys! I know, it's the whole play by their rules thing, but that doesn't bother me. I want to be done with this org. with no question that It is my choice - not because I got stumbled, or I'm "spiritually weak", or I'm inactive, or committed a serious sin, etc. And yes, I do "stand against" this org and all of the toxic things they teach and stand for, so I don't feel I lose anything. But I sincerely do appreciate all of your input. And thanks @FayeDunaway 😉
  • FayeDunaway

    I don't believe there's a difference in the announcements these days between ones who have sinned and are disfellowshipped and ones who disassociate. If I were you, I would send a note to several witnesses you care about and tell them exactly why you are disassociating. This is your last chance to communicate with them, and they won't have to speculate about what you might 'have done.' (Tho who am I kidding, of COURSE they will still speculate, they're witnesses! Lol) Maybe you can simply say that after reading the Bible very deeply you are a Christian that no longer believes witnesses have the truth, and since you are not allowed to disagree with witnesses and still associate with them (which you believe is a crazy, unblblical law), you must separate from them.

    Best to you beautiful mind, and let us know how it goes.

  • dubstepped


    How is it any more playing by their rules than remaining in their organization? How is it more playing by their rules than having the possibility of elders showing up at your door unexpected or getting phone calls? The people that stay in and have to listen to relatives preach at them or leave doors open are playing the organizations game far more than a person that uses disassociation to give them a all a big f-you. Actively taking a stand is nothing to be ashamed of. I get so tired of the discouragement of disassociating. Maybe if enough people did it instead of slinking away they would have to take notice of it.

    In the end, do what you like. I don't get why people try to discourage people from doing so. There are pros and cons to just about anything. Some of us choose to disassociate and it too can be fabulous and freeing and the best thing is that it's permanent. No more harassment. No more preaching at me. No longer am I on their books. I took an active stand against them. No more do I carry that JW label. I cannot be called into any judicial action. I can't inadvertently stumble someone in the congregation and worry about them telling on me, not that I even want to do anything wild and crazy.

    Good for you beautifulmind. My wife and I are so happy for you. Take your stand against them and be proud.

  • freddo

    If you are determined to go ahead, why not give a copy to everyone you know listing your reasons?

    Don't make it too long - anything up to one page - listing such things as child abuse, money-grabbing, failed predictions - with scriptures and WT quotes to support your view.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    We did decide to send a letter to the kh, just saying We're disassociated now.

    Because we wanted to stop their visits (the elders were coming around every few months). Plus if u disassociate, the territory is carefully scrutinized to prevent accidental contact. No more door knocking by jw for any reason.

    Plus just knowing we are OUT is really good.


  • BeautifulMind
    @FayeDunaway @freddo - I did talk to those I considered myself to be close about a few of the concerns or disagreements I had about the org - and not even the deep stuff. And guess what? They are now actively shunning me. As far as giving a note to everyone I know, that would be a lot of notes 😳, so Im not doing that.
  • Tornintwo
    I'm not ready to do it, although I'd secretly love to...well done you, it's a brave decision. If I do ever send one I will be sure to send a copy to every witness for whom I have an email address, so that they know why I am leaving that it Is a matter of conscience, taking a stand, and so that they aren't left with no info and only gossip and rumor to fill the void. Might just help another doubter too. One day....
  • Watchtower-Free
  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    I agree with everyone who said that you should announce you disassociation yourself to the people you care about and not bother with letting the elders know in writing or otherwise. Tell a few key friends why you're leaving and tell them that you wanted to let them know personally and that you're not going to the Elders. The news will spread in no time and you'll get to have had the last word instead of having your name be read aloud and having everyone speculate on what happened or simply write you off as immoral or weak. It will take the wind out of their sails before they've even gotten them unfurled .

    Just my 2 cents.


  • pbrow

    I would second (or third) the suggestions to send your letter to everyone or just friends that you truly care about. If I would do my own letter differently that is the only thing I would change but its not huge.

    I agree with dubstepped, write a letter, get out, be free, and never have to worry about hiding or crossing the street to avoid witnesses! The main benefit though is not being on the company list as a current member the Jehovah's Witnesses.


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