thoughts about miscarriage

by silentlambs 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • ZazuWitts
    ZazuWitts

    Silentlambs,

    Thanks for sharing your touching tribute with us. My son and daughter-in-law lost a child due to a miscarriage last year; I know what a sad time it was...it was painful to see the grief so plainly exposed on their faces. Joyfully, she is now expecting - due late next month, a little boy.

    I can't help but think that perhaps your own loss has been an inspiration of sorts in your courageous stance against WTBTS policies that let children suffer such evil.

    My birthday is October 10...I'm sure I will think of you and your wife, and what you are feeling, at some point during that day. (((((Hugs)))))

  • ARoarer
    ARoarer

    Dear Silentlambs
    Your words describing your feelings over your loss ran through my heart as memories of pain endured came up into a lump in my throat. The date of a painful loss remains invisible on your heart and in your subconscious only to come flowing out on the anniversary each year. You felt the pain in your heart that day and it came to your mind in your thoughts. The feeling was turned into words in your brain and your hand put the words down with pen onto paper. With your mind and your heart your hand wrote the words describing the feeling. Your eyes saw the written words describing the feelings, and your mouth read them out loud. With your ears you heard the words to your feelings, and gave those feelings a voice to hear. And with the words you heard yourself read outloud comes the gift of acceptance and compassion learned. Keep giving your feelings voice, and keep reading out loud the words that are given to you in response. It gives healing to the heart and soul of you. Give Sheila a hug.

    Love,
    Barb

  • sf
    sf

    One word Mr. Bowen...courage!

    To open up a wound like this and share it...well, thank you again for your courage.

    {{{{{{{hugs to all of you in this post}}}}}}}}

    Scally {{{{{hugging her daughter tightly now}}}}}

  • DAVID
    DAVID

    thank you for shareing your pain with us.

    My first wife and I lost our first baby; she was born very prematurely but for the first night appeared to be holding her own. The next morning she went as quickly as she had arrived.

    At the time we felt that our world had ended but with magnificent support and sensitivity from those around us we survived - (my wife's family who were JW's didn't bother to contact us) Today, 13 years later I have two beatifull sons from my first marriage, a beautifull second wife and step-son - I feel truly blessed. But as I write these words I cry for the daughter we lost. Amanda would be thirteen this year but that was not to be - she will live forever in our hearts and though I can't honestly say I think of her every day, when I do I am filled with sadness.

    In my job I see many people who have just lost their expected child and whilst my heart aches for them - I can find no words of comfort. All I can say to them and to you is that I know their pain and their sorrow and the value of "good" greif cannot be under-estimated.

    Take care,

    David

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    To all who have experienced these great losses, my heart goes out to each and everyone of you.
    To those who write with eloquence, what a wonderful thing to be able to use beautiful words and phrases to express and heal from our great pain.
    Thank you one and all for sharing!
    TW

  • Esmeralda
    Esmeralda

    I am so moved by the responses to this thread...I can't even articulate it.

    ((((((HUGS))))))))) to everyone who has been through this.

    Most of the books on the subject are so insulting, but there is one really
    good one that I've found: it's called "Miscarriage, women sharing from the Heart" and it's by
    Marie Allen and Shelly Marks. Several women I know who had miscarriages after mine also read
    it and said that it was very helpful.

    *hugs*
    Es

  • mommy
    mommy

    November 4, 1997
    This is the day my son was to be born. No words can describe, so I will limit them. I just want to tell you I too have had those dark moments around the time of his birthday, and I understand your pain.
    I really don't feel a group hug is approriate at this time. I am always giving them away, but this is different. And for those that know the pain and know the heartache that comes, my words of understanding is all I have to give.
    wendy

  • silentlambs
    silentlambs

    Back up to whom it may concern...

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    My heart goes out to all of you, I wish there was something I could say to help . But I know there is not anything that hasnt been said already, but your thoughts and words are touching and peace be with you all, as much as possible . Much love to you all.

  • dungbeetle
    dungbeetle

    I, too have lost two children in miscarriage. The first was in the summer of 1978. I was carrying twins, and I lost one; miraculously the other survived and went on to be a happy little girl. The name we gave our surviving child means 'honeybee', as bees live together and she started out her life with 'another' one.

    About ten years later, I had another miscarriage. I was going through some horrid JW-related stress then and I have always wondered if that contributed to my loss, tho I did not really confront or give expression to these feelings untill recently. This lost child was my last pregnancy; I wish my reproductive life could have ended on a better note.

    But I have my beautiful little 'honeybee' to remind me of how wonderful life CAN be. May everyone who has lost a child have a 'honeybee'!!!

    UADNA-US (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America-United States)

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