Wasted Time

by Thunder Rider 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Thunder Rider
    Thunder Rider

    How many of you have hurt the ones you love by exposing them to the "Truth"?

    I was the one who was a dub, I got SheilaM to "convert". I caused her a lot of pain and stole a big part of her life for it. I can't give her that time back. I wish I could. My "religion" dictated my attitudes and actions toward her. I made no plans for our retirement. Had no ambition to make something of myself. I wasted too much time. I wrote this for her.

    Wasted Time

    I confront the mid point of my life with anxious bewilderment

    Half of what I have lived was a nightmare, half a fairy tale

    Why did I hurt the one I love while bending over backwards for the abusers?

    Foolishness is tied up in the heart of a boy says the Good Book

    Why did it take so long for me to become a man?

    So deserving of my adoration is this woman I call wife

    She has a heart of gold a poets soul

    Sheila Madonia the love of my life

    I feel giddy when I hear her say it, or read her name in print

    This woman with my last name, taken, given

    I am smitten with her since the first time our eyes met

    I can’t imagine a life without her

    Too long she wondered

    Does he love me? Does he care? Am I the only one?

    I thought she knew cause I was always there

    I would tell her , I did, I did, You were

    Stupid, stupid boy Oh I was that

    No more, my eyes are wide open now

    I see and recognize things I had missed before

    Her need to hear and see and feel my affections continuously

    Machismo be damned the girl needs love I’ll give it ever more

    So much time gone by So much time to make up for

    Ready, willing, wanting, hoping, praying, to do it right this time

    Tough times I’ve seen some, been there, done that

    My spirit was broken, she was all that kept me here

    She held me together, now its my turn

    She made me whole again, I will do as much for her

    You can’t imagine how empty the hours are without Sheila

    I wasted so much time depressed and bitter

    I pledge now to live every day as if it were my last with her

    I promise her joy unbounded love unrivaled and total

    There is sunshine in the future and sunsets to be shared

    I’ll never let a day go by her not knowing that I cared

    How one can love this way, I’m sure that it is rare

    When a heart is lost in Carmel eyes and flowing auburn hair

    Take notice all you onlookers and would be hangers on

    I love this little girl, I live this little girl, I want this little girl

    Time is a funny thing, it can be cruel or kind

    I will make a friend of time I’ve set this in my mind

    I figure I can offer her 60 golden years

    Wet eyes only from happiness and never sorrows tears

    Time wasted never again a course is set for happiness

    From that course I will not veer

    My heart and soul pledges all my love to Sheila

    If she would only hold me in her arms and kiss away my fear

    Don't let your life pass you by waiting on lies. That person right there beside you deserves all of you.


  • xjw_b12

    Thunder Rider Very nicely done. You must be one of those " nice guys "

    I made no plans for our retirement

    Sounds like you have all you need .


  • shera

    OH MY ...that was beautiful!!! Gezz you made me cry.

  • calamityjane

    Wiping tears from my eyes.

    Sounds like you've become a wonderful man by shedding the chains of the borg. You two sound like you are making up for lost time, from the posts made by Sheila, she loves you dearly too. Don't look back, look forward to the future that you are making together now.

    Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to meet you two some day, soon in the future.



  • dottie


    Thunder that is so beautiful...I promised myself I wouldn't cry *reaches for kleenex* You two have a love that is so special that it would make Romeo and Juliet jealous. Hell, even I'm jealous ! LOL (j/k) Wishing you two continued Love and Happiness with each other!

    Many Hugs & Much Love To You Both !


  • shera


  • manon

    I borrowed these words from a song, {"Your hand in mine we walk the mile".}

    Thunder & Sheila go and rewrite the last chapters of your lives together create a new history. As long as you have life and love for each other there's a new day.

    [Thank you by Led Zeppelin] My husband and I are childhood sweethearts this is one of our songs.

  • JamesThomas

    Thank you for sharing, Thunder. Very beautiful.

  • LyinEyes

    That was very movine, very soulful,,,,,,,,,almost like you have to get these feelings , these emotions out or you will just explode.........it was very touching .

    I would say you two are almost as in love as me and my old man,,,,,,,WildTurkey,,,,,,,,lol, just kiddin', but like you said to love like this two people who have been together forever is rare. I look forward to growing old with my hubby and he with me. WildTurkey says it is a scarey feeling to love someone so much..... I understand what he means. Life is short, you never know how long you may have with someone , so use it wisely, take it all in everyday.

    We have been married for over 18 years now , I was 18 when i got married and now I have been a Brown longer than I was a Davis,,,,,,,I have been with this man longer than I was without him living at home.

    It is amazing how many marriages don't even last 10 yrs, so I feel proud to have stayed married, even thou it was hard being so young, and have no regrets. I think what held us together was what was all the things stacked agaisnt us and we had only each other really to depend on. I guess that is the way it should be, because even now we turn to each other for everything.

    I am so glad you wrote that for Sheila, you two are great and I love Sheila's spirit too, I can see why you feel so deeply for her , she is a gem for sure. And so are you Thunder, she talks about you all the time in her post and it reminds me so much of how me and WildT are about each other,,,,,,,,, almost like we are truly one soul........I think this is something , this kind of love, that everyone should strive to find, it is truly gold......even if you are past youthfulness it is not too late to try and find the love of your life.

  • SheilaM

    Wow! I came home from school to peruse the board ( avoiding writing my psychology paper) and found this, I am just blown away and crying of course Thunder and I will be married 19 years on Sunday we were married on Friday April 13, 1984. You all are right he is a sweetie and I think beats himself up far to much for "dragging" me into the dubs. I came there with by my own choice and he should realize that. I am glad you all appreciated the poem, it has touched my heart.

    We have been married for over 18 years now , I was 18 when i got married and now I have been a Brown longer than I was a Davis,,,,,,,I have been with this man longer than I was without him living at home.

    I understand how you feel about that Lyin, it seems strange to realize that you have lived with your husband longer that anyone in you life siblings/parents/kids. I wouldn't change if it would change where we are now.

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