by JH 12 Replies latest jw friends
What are the weirdest things you done during a meeting or at an assembly?
I had a 4 day District Assembly at Olympic Stadium in Montreal a few years ago, and I found the meeting so dull that I left and took the subway which passes below the stadium and I went down town Montreal all day. I came back by the subway for the end of the assembly, just in time to say Amen.
during one assembly at yankee stadium, a young brother i was seeing persuaded me to "skip" the afternoon session - i was terrified - i never even skipped a class in school! so paranoid that my father would find out but he was doing assembly duty - too busy to follow me around.
we took the elevated and went to radio city music hall. no one ever knew.
this "bad association" brother is now an elder dfing others.....what a joke.
the wierdest thing i ever did at a meeting was w hen i was about 10 years old. I had to give a #2 talk in the main hall. My sister had been df'd the week before, and another sister and brother were already df'd. I just lost it on stage and started balling like a baby. finally i stepped down. I wanted to go home but my parents wouldnt let me. the conductor was nice enough about it, I guess. I just remember being humiliated having to sit through the rest of that meeting. thanks mom. as usual you REALLY came through for us.
but later i developed good odd habbits for at least conventions. here was my standard list of things to do:
during assemble/convention parts:
check watch, look up skirts with binoculars, scribble, write a short story, read a "worldly" magazine, talk to whoever was beside me, look up more skirts with binoculars, walk around the hallway, eat a snack, struggle to get binoculars back from person sitting beside me. enjoy a sexual fantasy, use watchtower to hide the tent i just pitched, scribble some notes, eat another snack, look for people i knew, go to men's room, come back, check watch
during the drama:
actually i paid attention to these for some reason. they were funny. why do drama actos have to throw their hands up in the air all the time? why so much gold lame back in the ancient times? the last one i saw had some israelite swordsmen or something. i just remember that whoever did the costuming outfited the israeli swordsmen with modern japanese katanas. wierd.
modern day drama:
well snoozing in a modern-day drama is a given. the actors dont throw their arms up in the air as much
sitting in the car, listening to some music whilst drinking a bottle of beer.
"why do drama actos have to throw their hands up in the air all the time?"
Having been in a couple of dramas, we were instructed to wave our arms around when speaking. That way, people who were sitting a half mile away could tell who was talking. Such subtlety.
I found it funny when brothers passing the microphones were not following the meeting and never went to the brother/sister who wanted to comment.
I won't go into all the gory details all over again. Those of you who have been here long enough already know these stories.
But what I did at assemblies large and small was get laid. I had a system. And it worked. The layer and the layee at assemblies have a sort of identification radar and it worked 100% of the time. It was wonderful. I loved assemblies.
My personal best was an assembly in Gatlinburg, Tennessee back in the late sixties. It was snowing. I had a beautiful fireplace in my room and a cooler full of good high quality Moselle chilled to just the right temperature. It was a three-day assembly, and I remember getting laid by no less than five lovely ladies.
Ah, those were the days.
francois
Jeez, Francois you were a bad lad!
Actually, being absent-minded and forgetting your book-bag can be a good tactic to "bag" yourself some nice sister (click for story).
I found it funny when brothers passing the microphones were not following the meeting and never went to the brother/sister who wanted to comment.
That wasn't always my fault - some congregations are really freaky and are all into inter-marrying and so half the brothers and sisters will have exactly the same surname. Watchtower Overseers have been told that they are not allowed to call out first names if the person with their hand up is baptised, so a humble microphone handler is bound to be confused!
check watch, look up skirts with binoculars, scribble, write a short story, read a "worldly" magazine, talk to whoever was beside me, look up more skirts with binoculars
I remember using binocs to scan the crowd for the hot looking sisters. As a younger man, there didn't seem to be too many hotties in my district. I went to the District Convention a couple of years ago and lordy! Hotties everywhere! Where the hell did they come from and where were they when I was younger? Why couldn't I be young again and try out some of Francois' tactics? I wonder if any of them prefer older men?
Francois: Bull$...! Don't believe a word!
