Last minute plea for help/Comedy: JWs/English ex-husband

by berylblue 15 Replies latest social entertainment

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    Okay, my comedy instructor says I can not use Satan in my comedy routine...it's a shame, it really fit when I describe being a Witness. The bit about being DF b/c I wasn't annoying enough at the doors was very well rec'd by my classmates, but I am leading in by saying how strict the religion is.

    To what may I compare being a JW? HELP! In the sense that JWs are not allowed to do anything but preach.
    Also, when I mention how it feels to be thrown out of the world's least popular religion, someone suggestion I liken it to being thrown out of some organization to which anyone can belong . Can't think of what that would be.

    Also, when I talk about my second husband leaving, (the Englishman), I mention how he got everything I had. True enough. What would be the one thing he would have left behind because as a Brit, he wouldn't touch the stuff? (someone suggested toothpaste, no offense, dear British readers). I suggested his tube of SPF 900 British Pasty White sunscreen, but was told it wasn't funny and it was too long.

    (Actually, he had the most beautiful complexion, as did all his family and friends. )

    Any last minute suggestions would be more than welcome.

    Actually, I now don't have a way to get to the club as Tim is very sick.....But I'll get there somehow.

    Rosemarie

  • Scully
    Scully
    To what may I compare being a JW? HELP! In the sense that JWs are not allowed to do anything but preach.
    Also, when I mention how it feels to be thrown out of the world's least popular religion, someone suggestion I liken it to being thrown out of some organization to which anyone can belong . Can't think of what that would be.

    You could say that whenever you had salespeople come to your door or telemarketers call you at suppertime, you offered *them* the Watchtower. They never bothered you again.

    Being thrown out of the world's least popular religion..... hmmm.... Kind of like Osama bin Laden getting pissed off at some Muslim dude and saying..... "OK, YOU! You're going to pilot school!"

    Love, Scully

  • Swan
    Swan
    Kind of like Osama bin Laden getting pissed off at some Muslim dude and saying..... "OK, YOU! You're going to pilot school!"

    LOL @ Scully! I love it!

    Tammy

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    I had a friend that this happened to. Maybe you could use it in some way.

    She was delivering Avon catalogues for her mother. One householder wouldn't come to the door. Finally she came after repeated knocking and doorbell ringing. When she saw it was this gal, she said "Oh man, I wasn't coming to the door because I thought you were Jehovah's witnesses."

  • Swan
    Swan

    Scully,

    I told this one to my hairdresser.

    Kind of like Osama bin Laden getting pissed off at some Muslim dude and saying..... "OK, YOU! You're going to pilot school!"

    She laughed at it too.

    Berylblue,

    I think this one's another winner!

    Tammy

  • Scully
    Scully

    Swan writes:

    I told this one to my hairdresser.

    Kind of like Osama bin Laden getting pissed off at some Muslim dude and saying..... "OK, YOU! You're going to pilot school!"

    She laughed at it too.

    Wow!! COOOOOOL!! I'm famous!

    Love, Scully

  • anglise
    anglise
    To what may I compare being a JW? HELP! In the sense that JWs are not allowed to do anything but preach.
    Also, when I mention how it feels to be thrown out of the world's least popular religion, someone suggestion I liken it to being thrown out of some organization to which anyone can belong . Can't think of what that would be.

    Like being in Amway but knowing that Walmarts stuff is cheaper, better and you dont need prozac to use it.

    Your englishman left behind !! sorry thinking about that one.

    Anglise

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    Well....can't make it. Tim's too sick....but thanks to all of you. My instructor said to email him Monday and maybe he'll have some suggestions for me as to where to perform. It all came together beautifully at the end.

    Rosemarie

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    hope u can get past the instructor sooner of later. B/c truly, comedy is from your own personal experience and the best ones just say stuff and don't worry if it is PC. look what Roseanne did. Or Ellen D. When u tell about your real life and how it really was, it is funny and people will see it. your instructor forcing u to be PC is a big mistake. But once u get jigs of your own, kiss him goodbye.

    I wish u great luck, we need a comdey routine about jws.U are going where no man has gone before, and just like being jewish, and being gay, being a redneck, someone has to be the first to have fun with it.

    Btw, i think of jws are a lot like the amish. (remember the movie with kriste what's her name and Tim Allen? very funny stuff.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Being tossed out of the JW`s is like being fired from a porta-potti(portable outhouses,the kind you see at large outdoor concerts) cleaning job.You don`t have to deal with the crap anymore,and people don`t look at you like you smell funny...OUTLAW

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