HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
7. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
8. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
9. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
10. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENE RATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING DOWN DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED 10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.