The "Visit"

Jewel

Hey folks,

I haven't posted for a LOOOONG time, but had an interesting experience the other day...

My mom is still an active Witness. I did the slow fade years ago. I haven't been in a Kingdom Hall for probably 13 or 14 years. I had an elder come knocking on the door. He's a nice guy in general-we share relatives so have occasional non-religious contact. However, he was definitely in "elder mode". He wanted to come in, but I didn't offer. He told me that The Society has "suggested" (yeah, right) that they contact "brothers and sisters" who aren't active and "encourage" them to come to the Memorial. Went on a bit about how happy he was sure this would make my mother. Talked about honoring my baptism. Said he'd come back Monday at 2:00 and asked me to read the first couple of chapter in a book (I have no idea which one...) so we could "discuss" it. He said that I shouldn't let any old bad experiences with "imperfect humans" come between me and "your father jehovah".

Since my mom is elderly and since my extended family is about 1/3 Witness, I've always maintained a polite sort of don't-ask-me-I-won't-tell-you-what-I-REALLY-think sort of relationship. It's always been kind of funny because I can tell that my unclassified status makes them uncomfortable-I mean it almost makes them have to figure the situation out for themselves and they aren't used to having to think...sorry, I'm getting snippy.

Anyway, I suggested he call before making the trip because I knew there was NO WAY I was going to discuss ANYTHING with this guy. I guess I'm wondering if anybody knows if there is a bigger picture here...

Do they need more numbers to pad out those Memorial figures??

Are they trying to tie up loose ends like me???

It scared my kids because I was polite and took the magazines-"Mom! You're not listening to them are you??" I assured them that the whole thing actually made me feel literally queasy and that there is no danger that I'd consider-in this life or any other-even if I had to burn for eternity in a literal hell-even if I was the last non-JW on earth-going back.

What do you think? What has anybody heard?

Jewel

blondie

So we are supposed to go to meetings to make our mothers happy! So we are to become men/women-pleasers?

Anyway, I suggested he call before making the trip because I knew there was NO WAY I was going to discuss ANYTHING with this guy.

Jewel, I would stick with this plan. He would not come on his own if it was a judicial investigation. The elders have just been directed (ordered) to call on all the inactive in their jurisdiction even those gone as long as you. For too long the WTS has ignored those leaving by the back door by concentrating on finding people in the door to door work.

On another thread a CO was quoted as saying that there were enough inactive people in the circuit to form 5 congregations. So the numbers are substantial and these inactive people have family and friends they still have contact with. Maybe they are afraid more people will leave when they see how happy you are.

I don't think they are trying to DF all inactive ones. I do know that some elders like dropping by hoping to catch someone doing something wrong. But most don't want to waste their precious time.

Blondie

Francois

The JWs are on some sort of plan to go tear-assing around their territory seeking out "inactive" ones and attempting to get them to be active again; attempting to swell their numbers.

Due to a recent heavy-duty decline in numbers, they're pulling out all the stops. Did you know that if you get in fifteen minutes of "service" that you're counted as a publisher? Yep. And there are a few other little zigs and zags they're attempting to fluff up their numbers. And of course, another technique is to get folks like you to show up at meetings again.

But look at the arrogance. This jerk has made a reading assignment for you, and he's made your plans for your Monday night when he will return, uninvited, to discuss a couple of chapters in that book with you. No doubt these chapters will dip you in liquid guilt up to your eyeballs.

Did you ask for him to suggest a book to study? Did you ask him to come back Monday night to consider a couple of chapters in that book? If that guy had been arrogating to himself the right to make plans for my time, I would have performed a rectal tonsillectomy on his nervy ass right there on my front porch.

francois

blondie

Francois, don't dance around the issue. Get to the point.

dip you in liquid guilt up to your eyeballs.

Do you think the reading assignment was from the Bible or a WTS publication, Jewel?

Blondie

minimus

I think they are coming by to "tie up loose ends". They desperately want to see if the numbers could go up and still clear any deadweight that's out there. All the elder's comments were to provoke you to GUILT. Don't tell them ANYTHING. YOU are not responsible to them. Remember, if you allow them to dictate things, they will! Don't give them the chance. If they outrightly ask you a question that you don't want to answer, simply tell them, I don't want to be rude, but I'm not here to answer any of your questions. Now, you have a nice day."

gcc2k

See a thread by Jourles for more information on this.

Someone here asked me if I thought these visits are motivated by love to try to bring back the inactive, or a plan to weed out the fence-sitters. I told him that I would hope the former, but suspect the latter. If they weed out too many though, that would drop their numbers as well, or are the inactive not counted in the annual report? If that is the case, then the plan would work well in both situations I guess, weeding out those with bad hearts while trying to regroom the good hearted into becoming publishers again.

outnfree

(((((((Jewel)))))))

nice to "see" you again!

I, too, think they are "tying up loose ends" but not in order to boost numbers, but rather, as you said, to be able to quantify you, one way or another. If you have been comfortable being inactive for these many years, do not allow this elder relative any authority over you in any way. If you seem to appear to respect his authority, then you are thought to be accepting the Society's authority, which then gives them the right to deal with you officially/judicially. When/If he phones on Monday (or even if he shows up at the appointed time without phoning ahead), tell him that a visit is "not convenient now," thank him for his interest, and tell him you'll get back to him. And then don't.

BTW, I find it highly amusing that he asked you to study those chapters in a publication which you do no even possess as you have been inactive for so long. Arrogant, no?

Take care,

outnfree

Jourles

Did this elder give you a copy of the "book" in which he wants to go over a couple chapters from? Is it the new Worship book? That is the book which was pushed on me during my visit. And they took the same exact angle in presenting it. The one elder leading the call told me that I was going to study it with my assigned elder. Kind of pissed me off at the moment for him telling me what I was going to do. I deflected it back telling them that I already had a good foundation of the material in the book and that I had other issues I would rather discuss. They did not ask what my issues were, but left it up to me and my assigned elder to hammer out meeting up later on.

At the last circuit assembly I attended, the circuit overseer spoke freely about the inactive campaign which is going on right now. Of course, he cloaked his talk in words of love, sympathy, and emphasizing getting inactive ones reaquainted again with the congregation. As far as the real reason for the visits, everyone here seems to have their own ideas of this current work and the reasons for visiting inactive ones. Some feel it is for weeding out the vocal dissenters, and others think it may be to get the numbers up. Who knows? It could be either or a combination of both.

Jewel

Well, I wouldn't care one way or another if it weren't for my mother. My sister is already disfellowshipped and neither of my brothers were ever baptized. We live near my mother and help her alot around her home and socialize and that would become very awkward.

A BIG part of me would like to have a really honest talk with this guy-tell him what I do think of the Society and it's minions. That's very tempting. On the other hand, I'm sure that they can't begin to imagine how unimportant the JW's are in my day-to-day life.

The book he wants to study was one from a recent assembly and he assumed that my mom had given it to me-she's long since ceased doing that sort of thing. One of the many layers to the whole thing was how insulting it was. As if I didn't understand or remember any of the concepts. Gods, I've heard everything a million times! It's not that I don't get it, but that I DO get it now! And the assumption that my inactivity is because somebody snubbed me! I mean the whole organization stinks of hypocrisy, but if I still bought the party line I'd still be going to meetings. My plan at this point is to be unavailable to any overtures. Obviously, I'm not going to answer the phone on Monday, but it'll be interesting to see how far they push.

I can imagine that some of you might understand what I can't explain. I actually had a physical reaction to the visit. It made me feel...what?? I guess it made me remember how it felt to be under the thumbs of these guys. It also made me realize how incredibly happy I am to be free. Like I said, there's a part of me that would like to clear up my status as well, and that wouldn't make their numbers look any better!

Thanks all-I'll keep you posted

Jewel

Jim_TX

Jewel,

I know I am coming in late on this topic... but you mentioned that this fella gave you a 'reading assignment'.

Perhaps you should consider giving HIM a reading assignment - from something that YOU believe in these days. Do you think that he would read it? I doubt it.

He would make some sort of "Well, I believe in..." and give some JW bs party line.

Oh well. I know that with your circumstances - you wouldn't be able to do that... but sometimes... you would like to. Yanno?

I suppose the best thing to do is to make yourself scarce when this fella returns. Just beware. If he smells ... an 'apostate' attitude, he may return with 1 or 2 other fellas.

Regards,

James

The "Visit"

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