sorry to hear of your struggles Emily, it certainly is how its made up to be, all I can say is try to remain strong and keep your head held high, life is never the same when leaving this evil.
Lovely to meet you and your husband here on the forum! Please feel welcome here. This is a great community of people who understand exactly what you are going through
Your post is EXACTLY what we have experienced! (feel free to send me a private message if you wish)
Yes, there was a talk about it.
Also, you can bet that the elders (knowing your status as ones who are fading) will have strategically created or allowed rumours to spread about you guys. They will justify such as "a warning to the flock" because of your inactivity. you know - you could be a "danger to others spirituality" you know!
Hang in there. Keep posting all the social media stuff you like.
Show by your posts that you guys are living a happy and successful life! That kills JWs, who assume that all who stop attending are sad, bitter or negative. Prove them wrong
Love to you guys!
I know it`s a shock to realize that people you knew as "friends" for most of your life at least a good part of your life can suddenly seem to disown you almost overnight .
The sad fact is JW friendship is conditional upon you remaining in the club of JW.
You leave for whatever reason justified or not doesn`t matter you left so now you are to be ostracized .
And it can take a long time to get over it or not that is up to you.
Some good advice has been given that is to replace your social loss with new social activities because when you think about it the JW religion is a form of a social club ,your mixing with people who have a common interest involved .
All you and your husband have to do is find some other social club/interest that you both enjoy and join that club and their are so many around for you to choose from .
And it is not necessary for you both to join the same club you might have a different interest from that of your husband and vice versa , no big deal both of you enjoy the club of your choice , and share experiences.
And when you do you will be surprised how many genuine friends with no conditions attached you will meet up with .
Take care and keep us informed how you are both going.
Hi Emily, I'm sorry fading is proving to be painful for you. The fake JW friends are starting to show their true colours. As others have said I've found volunteering useful for meeting new people. Also Meetup.com for finding local people to socialise with. Wishing you and your husband all the best as you continue to build a new life.
I think "curious&confused" explains it well. If he/she heard it at a recent assembly day then it will "roll" over the next six months and the uber dubs will get a'blocking on social media (and in real life.)
You may find that like the vast majority of (non jw) people you will have less than a handful of REAL friends (and sadly maybe even close family) when the dust settles.
But those REAL friends are worth a hundred fake ones.
There was something about social media at the circuit assembly last year. Something about instagram, which I know noting about. A really obscure point of criticism that I can't remember, like don't post pictures of your breakfast or something. Then there was something about not going on holiday with inactive family in the circuit visit. Plus an odd comment about not going to the supermarket after the meeting. Too much weird stuff to keep track.
Hi all, thanks for all of your replies! There is some really helpful advice there for us.
Joining a club or group is a great idea. My husband has recently started playing tennis with a group at our local leisure centre so he is hoping that friendships will come from that. And our children recently started school and preschool so I am hoping that the new parents I meet at the school will eventually become friends!
It really is true that these JW 'friends' aren't really that, as they drop you as soon as you leave.
Again thanks for all of the responses, it really is nice to see everyone being so friendly and proving that us ex JWs are not nasty people like we are made out to be by the organisation.
HELL YES there's been TONS of direct and subtle hints to stay away from anyone who is no longer active. The most recent broadcast once again demonstrates how friends are to spy on eachothers social media or any other way possible--- if YOU are NOT LIVING UP TO IT, YOU WILL BE IGNORED. I did the same as you, started fading in the fall of 2015 and the soft shunning started within a few months, then it went to all out ignore (nearly run away type stuff) and now its evident we want NOTHING to do with it- so we are treated as if we are the walking dead (I guess to them we are). So, again to answer your question- it doesn't always take a direct command "unfriend people who don't go" since this cult gets into the MIND so deeply. People are programmed at EVERY SINGLE MEETING. They will just instinctively drop you like a hot potato. They've been programmed to. You are no longer a robot and they sense it. But as you well know--->> WHO CARES right??? LIVE LOVE LAUGH for real!
I like that Sliced :
LIVE : your life how you and your husband want to live and not by how third parties (G.B./Jw`s ) want you to live.
it`s your life not theirs.
LOVE : what you and your husband want to do and enjoy it regardless of what or how other people think about it ,it`s simply none of their business. It`s your life .not theirs !
LAUGH : Humour gets us through a lot of stressful emotional scenarios.Laugh at how you were indoctrinated to do some of the most absurd things then that you would never do now knowing TTATT
Again it`s your life not theirs ,do what you want to do and not what others want you to do.
Be your own person .