Had a family member try to initiate shunning but now they are settling for no religious discussion, notice how I did that....

by Bad_Wolf 5 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Bad_Wolf

    I think this can help some people.

    I had a family member who due to holiday issues, felt they had to start shunning me unless I returned to the religion. And you know they think those of us who leave still believe it's the truth and we are choosing to willfully rebel against God, etc. They believe shunning shows those who leave the wrongness.

    I was refusing to return and we also know they won't listen to anything negative we say either. So then I reasoned and thought having THEM find the answers themselves. I told them they believe and preach to others to research the origins and early teachings of their religions and even holidays. That even if holidays are good or christian today, they tell others they need to know the origins.

    I told them if they are preaching and people must know the origins of things they do from thousands of years ago, to then be unwilling to look up the origins of your own religion going back 150 years is very hypocritical. I said there are 2 ways this can end between us. Either they research several questions I had, one was "Today it's taught the Governing Body are God's mouthpiece and only the truth can come from them and in their organization. From the beginning of the religion, what did Russell teach, what changes did Rutherford make, what happened when Rutherford died, and down to today? You research and tell me the evolution of that belief, how it was scriptual, etc."

    Several things like that. I told them THEN they can understand and tell me how I am wrong.

    OR OPTION #2 - There are many jws who associate with those who left, who do not agree with the shunning policy. I know some whose parents only remove the religious talks but treat as family. So option 2 is if you are afraid you'd end up like me (and honestly you probably would), then just agree that religion and God is each our own business and we respect eachother to make our own choices, but still be family.

    They later decided that we will continue to be as a family and not talk about anything religious.

    When they presented their ultimatum, I reasoned that they should do the same research I had done, and I even quoted some articles too, so I think they couldn't deny it was reasonable, but also they are afraid, so settling on not shunning and we just don't discuss religious stuff.

    See how it goes long term but shared this as that reasoning may help others as well.

    I also make clear that every publication and watchtower or awake are pdf scanned on the internet so research can be done on only WT literature.

  • Diogenesister

    Wow. Impressive line of reasoning.

    To be honest many years ago if you simply stopped believing, DA'd or DF for family members it was a case of no spiritual association only.

    Whilst the org has worsened over the years, mostly due to fear of what believers will learn if exposed to family who are free to research I do think it's also been a case of one-upmanship with dubs and their shunning practices ....like "I'm more without spot from the world than you!" kinda thing.

  • steve2

    Bad_Wolf you are really lucky that the JW was even prepared to engage in a dialogue with you. They are not typical JWs at all. The usual scenario is one in which you are cut off without so much as a word of explanation or word of trying to “reason” with you.

    Your experience, positive overall, is a rare occurrence.

  • Bad_Wolf

    Even with family Steve2? Close family that is. Extended family who never were really in my life anyway did what you said, but I don't care about them anyway.

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    My older sister was told by the youngest sister, "We ARE going to shun you" Even tho my older sister is not disfellowshipped, the youngest is acting all righteous and going the full hundred yards. My mother would have been shunning us, but my dad (not a JW) had turned into a hoarder and we cleaned the outside and most of the inside so they wouldn't be fined or have their house taken away. She doesn't want to bite the hand that helped her (in case she needs more help) but that would instantly change if someone from the congregation learned of it.

  • Acluetofindtheuser

    If a family member chooses not to talk to you ever after a DF or DA then they didn't really love you. Most JW's are cold as ice when it comes to relationships. No wonder why they're not getting anymore converts in the ministry. Come join us so we can remove the love from your heart and give it to the Organization.

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