I Need Advice - Brother being DF'd tonight!

by BobsGirl 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • BobsGirl
    BobsGirl

    Sandy,

    Thank God for the pocket rocket ... my favorite toy ....lol

    ((((Joy)))),

    Thanks ... three bottles should do it!

    jgnat,

    I might just try that. Calm would definately be a change.

    Gumby,

    I will definately look on Randy's sight! I haven't been there in way too long.

    Thanks everybody!

  • BobsGirl
    BobsGirl

    btt. Blatent bid for more feedback.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Bobsgirl, I'm sorry that everything seems to be piling up at the same time.

    It is good your brother has you. I'm surprised your mother is calling you for spiritual advice if you are inactive as a JW. I wonder how she will react if she finds out you aren't shunning your brother? Will that cause problems? My family shuns me and I am only inactive. I wonder what they can do if I were ever DF'd, shoot me?

    What you say to your mother about DFing depends on how you know she would react? Would it break your tenuous relationship? How would you feel if it did? Would your mother even listen to anything negative about the WT?

    You know your mom (and other family) better than I will ever (and I know squat now).

    One thing is for sure, your brother will benefit greatly from your support and love.

    Blondie

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Dear Bobsgirl: Get copies of Steve Hassan's book on Mind Control and Ray Franz book Crisis of Conscience and bring them to your brother. Tell him to take some time, read these books and call and talk to you about what he is reading as he needs to.

    As for the other family members, like Mom, ask her to read the account in the Bible about the prodigal son. If this account took place today in the Organization, the older son could have brought charges aganist the father for eating with the younger son. Ask her how would Jesus feel about that? Encourage her to keep the lines of love open for her son, your brother. Who knows, you may win them both. May you have peace, Maverick

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Bobsgirl,

    Do what Frank said, call your mom out on it, and see if you can get the wheels turning. All it takes is a little kidn persistance, and they may be able to see the hypocrisy.

    ash

  • Loris
    Loris

    So sorry for your pain. Sometimes the only time a person will listen is when it touches them personally. To throw the UN or 1914 controversy at some people will only hit a wall, but introduce a subject that touches them will get a crack going in the wall. Search this site for good sound scriptural reasoning on the whole disfellowshipping/ breaking up families thing. Gently offer these nuggets of genuine truth to your family. Keep the conversations as calm as possible. There is a small window of opportunity to reach them at this time. If you wait they will revert back to mind numbing zombie mode.

    Take care of hubby and baby. Peace to you and yours,

    Loris

  • sunshineToo
    sunshineToo

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Bobsgirl and your baby brother}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    I am so sorry for your situation. It is so sad to see what you and your baby brother going through.

    I don't know the entire story, but I wonder why your brother should blame himself for everything. I hope he is not giving up everything. Talk to a lawyer and help him take care of himself.

    Best wishes.

    sunshineToo

  • acsot
    acsot

    I'm very sorry for what you and your brother are going through. He's fortunate to have you, and he will realize that as times goes by. If he freaks out at the thought of reading comments on an "apostate" website, Maverick's suggestions are excellent, the Steve Hassan and Ray Franz books. As well, you might want to direct him to the poster Beans' website:

    which is made up entirely of Watchtower publication quotes. He'll be able to see the flip-flops, flimsy research and blatant hypocrisy of the WTS over the years. Bit by bit, you can expose him to what the Watchtower is really about. Perhaps you can do some research on the meaning of the words in the New Testament which speak about "not even greeting" such a one. I read somewhere (sorry I can't remember where, but I did a search on the internet) about ancient Middle Eastern customs and in that context the Scriptures dealing with not eating with someone or "greeting" such a person were not to be taken to the extremes of Watchtower-world.

    Perhaps also AlanF's essays:

    Hope this helps, along with that bottle of wine!

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Hey Bobsgirl, at least he has got one real sister to call on !

    My thinking is that he is probably too upset right now to take in all the arguments about failed prophecies etc. He has got so much to handle . We do not know the story behind his divorce , but that is trauma enough at one time . Your mother too has so much to handle . She is torn between her son and the religion that no doubt means everything to her.

    I guess it is a matter of listening first of all and then trying to input some reasoning . Incidentally dmouse had a recent post in which the elders of ,I think, his wifes family were very tolerant of a d/fd relative . If your mother felt she was being asked to shun her son when others did not have to do so, then maybe she would start to question it. Just a thought

  • Swan
    Swan

    I am so glad you are taking this stand in your brother's situation. Shunning family members when they are emotionally in need is an extreme and unloving punishment. Tell your Mom just that the next time she calls. Tell her that you won't do it to your brother just as you wouldn't do it to any other member of your family, including her. JW's are taught to see this as a black and white issue. Be clear with them that you refuse to take sides in this, that you refuse to let it divide you like it has the rest of the family, and that you would support them emotionally if the situation was reversed. Tell them that you are just following your heart, your conscience, and the golden rule that Jesus spoke about. Jesus said not to judge, so you won't do it, especially to a member of your own family. Tell them you love all of them unconditionally.

    I applaud you and wish you well for the trying times ahead.

    Tammy

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit