You might be a Jehovah's Witness if.......

by Sour Grapes 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    You might be a Jehovah's Witness if, to not feel guilty on Saturday morning, you ride in a car with a group of adults driving in circles around town taking turns to get out one at a time to knock on a door that you hoped no one would answer.

    You might be a JW if going on vacation meant going to a summer regional or district assembly where you did not need to pack shorts, tennis shoes, or tank tops.

    You might be a JW if for lunch at the summer convention you and your family ate breakfast food from the Holiday Inn where you are staying for the summer assembly.

    You might be a JW if the first thing that you think about when waking up in the morning is that it is meeting night.

    You might be a JW if you introduce a person to another JW, not by the person's name by as my Bible study.

    You might be a JW if you don't celebrate Christmas but will take the money from your employer to not come to work so that you can celebrate it.

  • ToesUp

    .....if you preach Christ like love and act like a Pharisee!

  • gone for good
    gone for good

    ... if you suddenly shun people who you claim to love - for no discernible reason.

  • stuckinarut2

    If you see a bag and think "that would be a good field service bag"

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    You might be a Jehovah‘s witness if you claim to be a Bible student whose main goal is to spread God‘s word throughout the world yet you spend hours standing silently by a literature cart that contains no bibles.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    ...if you are afraid to be found out to be a pillow hugger!

  • Vidiot

    This has been done a bazillion times, but it's always fun.


    If you wash windows for a living, but own a $500 suit... might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If you can't remember what day of the week it is without some kind of benchmark... might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If you turn down a work promotion because it might endanger your "spirituality"... might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If you define words like "pioneer" and "publisher" completely different from Webster's Dictionary... might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If you use a checklist to determine righteousness... might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If reading a fortune cookie makes you fear the Apocalypse... might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If little blue garden gnomes make you nervous... might be a Jehovah's Witness.

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    If you are in a conversation with others who don't go to the Kingdom hall, instead of enjoying it, you are trying to think of ways to show how bad the world is and that God's Kingdom is the only solution...

    you are a JW.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    if you keenly look forward to your god destroying over 99% of the worlds population, in your lifetime--as you watch.....then you really are one of jehovah's witnesses.

  • AudeSapere

    Funny and true!

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