RANT: Isn't Cognitive Dissonance Amazing?

by Sorry 6 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sorry

    This is piggybacking off my previous post (about my 'personal study'). While I haven't been a long time member, I'm sure if you have my posts you'll know that I'm disenchanted with the WT and am just grunting and bearing until I have a stable enough support system to break away. However, lately I'm just getting extremely angry at nearly everything that's going on.

    Me and another sister were talking about a DF guy who came back twice only to finally leave. I asked her how putting his mother through that was loving. She said 1) it protects the flock from their negative influence and 2) it helps the sinner come back to Jehovah. Having been friends with the guy, I knew the only reason he came back at all was because he wanted his mom back, but he finally had to leave for the sake of his sanity. His mom has been completely depressed for a year and the congregation has been hounding her about her lack of field service and meeting attendance. I brought that up to the sister "What if they only come back for their family? What if they don't love Jehovah at all?" At first she paused, then she said Jehovah would never let the elders make such a grave error. This lit a fire in me, because we all know how much WT has erred. I suddenly came up with a litany of questions. So I said, what about the errors of the GB? New light! was her automatic answer (playback to the conversation with my mom). What about people who have died due to past doctrines like no blood and organ transplants? Why can't those who were right about doctrine being wrong be reinstated? Her answer: They died in the name of Jehovah, as good of death as most of us can hope to get. And those 'apostates' didn't wait on Jehovah, that's why they aren't reinstated. Why are you pressuring the DF guy's mom when she healing is different for everyone? Answer: Her son shouldn't have hurt her like that, her mom need to see it's not her fault. She won't feel better until she serves Jehovah wholeheartedly.

    I couldn't take it anymore. I was too angry. I grabbed a travel bag and packed all my clothes. I was seriously considering just leaving and never coming back. The sheer audacity to think this is loving and okay! If you're upset about it, you clearly aren't doing enough for Jehovah. It makes me sick, and I really don't want to be a part of this anymore. I just needed to vent because I'm seriously considering cursing these people out for their harmful behavior. I no longer care about my family's or congregations feelings. When you don't care about anyone's feelings, why should I care about theirs? At first I cried day and night at the thought of losing my family and friends, now I don't care. As awful as it is to say, I'm going to shun them too. They talk so much smack about terrorists commuting atrocities in the name of religion, smearing God's name. They're too stupid to realize they're doing the exact same thing. I'm just done with all of it. Sorry for being angry, I just needed to vent.

  • schnell

    Mental gymnastics should be an Olympic event.

    I hear you, Sorry. I've felt the same way. To see friends you've known for years say the dumbest things after you've woken up. . . Yeah at first, you cry because you don't want to lose them. Been there. Then you talk to them and you don't care anymore. Talking to a JW becomes an exhausting chore and you'd rather do pretty much anything else. Thus, you really don't mind shunning them before they shun you.

    How soon can you realistically move on and be on your own?

  • tepidpoultry

    I'm Agnostic now but when I was thinking this thing out on my own years ago, I was reading the Gospels and I thought, these guys are modern day Pharasees, heartless, legalistic, a self-serving machine, there are some good people, but they can't think normally any more, I'm just so happy that I still can!!! :)

  • exjwlemming

    From personal experience, I know that it's really tough. The loss of friends and family can be overwhelming. I'm not DFed or DAed, but divorced an abusive spouse. My parents have no contact with me. The friends, that I once had helped, have long since abandoned me. I have 2 wonderful kids that I had unfortunately raised in "the truth." Likewise, they never reach out to me. My calls and text messages go unanswered. They truly believe that they are doing what's right in god's eyes. I watch their life through Instagram. Blood is thicker that water, but the WTBTS is thicker than blood. It's a cult. As far as friends, people whose friendship is conditional on supporting an organization are not real friends. I use to get a chuckle of the term "friends" within the org. "It's nice being with the friends." They are only friends if you continue to tow the WTBTS cult line.

  • JWdaughter

    I know why ex JWs sometimes go off the rails entirely. JWs are manipulative and false, and can get everyone buying into the abuse THEY received when a non believer speaks plainly. They are like an ex spouse who paints the picture so that former in laws reject you. Only your family is all looking at you sideways because your parent is so distraught by your "cruelty". I sometimes start to think that every happy family picture is a big fat lie. The funhouse mirror is now the only way they see the world so the lies and manipulation is done with a perverse sincerity in their eyes.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Vent away Sorry! You need to when your life has been scuppered by the JW cult.

    In the long term, being honest with yourself and striding out into the world of humanity is not as bad as JWs believe. You do however need courage and determination but it's worth it.

  • flipper

    We see cognizant dissonance in the JW organization and we saw it in the recent election of Trump for president. The world is chalk full of people who are confused , ill informed, ignorant and or stupid- or in denial

Share this