Update to: As a Matter of Conscience, I Am Resigning from the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses

by Sail Away 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sail Away
    Sail Away

    I just had a two-hour doctor's appointment (treatment for branch retinal vein occlusion) that requires screenings, scans, dilation, anesthetic and injection, etc. This makes it necessary to spend a lot of time in the waiting room.

    My former P.O., Book Study Conductor and later Field Service Overseer was there and greeted me in a friendly way. This is a man that has to have seen my resignation letter referencing child sexual abuse and the ARC; so in his eyes, I disassociated. If for some reason, he is no longer an elder and did not see the letter, at the very least he should be shunning me as a 5-year inactive fader. Also, I know for a fact that I am on the Do Not Call list.

    Apparently, the congregation is growing (20% increase) and has lots of children now. Counting baptized minors and elders and servants imported to "help out", I don't doubt the numbers. I just don't think this can be called growth. I did comment that it's wonderful to have kids around and shared a photo of my grandson. I mentioned when my husband and I were first married in 1978, there was so much emphasis on "the end is so near" that having children was hugely discouraged. He said the emphasis now is not on "getting time in", just on "doing the best we can". I asked about his daughter and son-in-law. Apparently, they are still active in the congregation and bought a house on the beach and by Dad’s words are “enjoying life.”

    He commented that I look well, happy, am smiling more, and that there is a "lightness" about me. As he knew me well-- as only invasive JW elders do, I did say that I was no longer on meds for anxiety and depression; and I said when I was in the congregation years ago, I took on a lot of pain and anxiety regarding my husband and children's life choices (read Armageddon death sentences). He acknowledged that he knew that. I said now I just live a day at a time and let the rest go. I didn’t mention I was lighter for having a happy family life (something the JWs promised me as a pre-teen that sucked me in to the organization which they later took away by asking me to shun my children) and having dumped the JW burden of guilt and never ever being good enough.

    We chatted for the entire time, catching up, and we even hugged good-bye. I would never have guessed! He said, "the friends" think warmly of you". No further attempt to witness to me. There is not a chance in hell that I would ever go back, but this chance meeting further relieves any anxiety about running into the elders. We do live in a very small town.

  • sir82

    You caught him outside of the normal "JW" setting; his "real" personality showed thru, as opposed to his "cult" personality.

    Things would likely have gone much differently if you had encountered him while he was in field serve-us, or with another JW, or (especially) with another elder.

  • sparky1

    Wow.........that's great Sail Away that he showed you his 'real face'. So many Witnesses are like a Totem Pole; they have a different face for everyone and every circumstance. Perhaps your genuine 'lightness' will attract him away from the 'false light' known as Jehovah's Witnesses.

  • JWdaughter

    Glad you had a pleasant catch up with a former associate. I hope all your procedures go well. I hope he and his family are being freed mentally at least.

  • Darkknight757

    The Witnesses are forced fed stories that upon leaving the organization, the people are utterly miserable. To show that you have a "lightness" about you proves the Watchtower wrong and can be a great force for change in the honest hearted. Keep it up!!!!😊

    I hope your procedures go well. Keep us updated.

  • Crazyguy

    They have become a kinder gentler religion until.........

  • stuckinarut2

    As sir and sparky said, you struck his genuine personality.

    However, he also did the "love bombing" thing by trying to say how "the friends think warmly of you".

    The best thing you did was show that you are living a happy and successful life. You are not bitter or unhappy. Show them you have dignity and self respect. (Most witnesses cant understand how this is possible. They are told that all who leave are bitter, unhappy and have lives that are full of problems)

  • steve2

    Well that was unexpectedly pleasant - it shows decency and kindness can overrule organizational imperatives!

    However, I do wonder how he would have treated you if it had been in a more public setting and perhaps other JWs were within view. Would he have been so warm and inquiring?

    I've known JWs who are every bit as lovely and kind as you describe in a one-to-one setting but who become almost the reverse when other JWs are also present (who may disapprove of those who have disassociated).

  • DesirousOfChange

    I asked about his daughter and son-in-law. Apparently, they are still active in the congregation and bought a house on the beach and by Dad’s words are “enjoying life.”

    Let's hope they are among those waking up to TTATT.

    If not, and they are still diehard JDubs, then they sure don't give a ratt's ass about the 7 BILLION who are "right around the corner" from being destroyed because they didn't hear about the Good News.

    The best thing you did was show that you are living a happy and successful life.

    Yes indeed!

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • WingCommander

    20% Growth? BULLSH*T!!! There is no way, NO WAY, that a Congregation would see that much growth. What really happened, was that 1 or even 2 or 3 Congregations were dissolved, their Kingdumb Hells sold, and profits sent back to "Mother Org". Then, the pauper Sheeple were commanded to come to your old Congregation. Whaa-laaa! Instant "growth" for your old Congregation. There are lies, damned lies, and statistics. JW's are the masters of manipulating the numbers and statistics in order to make themselves look good.

    20% growth in a Congregation? Ha! FantasyLand.

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