but where do you draw the difference between showing unconditional love and being too permissive in matters of conduct?
Good question. I think that if someone's behavior or actions are destructive, you have to limit association with them. However, there doesn't have to be a total cutting off of dialogue. Sometimes tough love is needed to set someone straight. If they are humble enough, they will see the errors of their ways.
For example; the son who keeps asking for money and he keeps blowing it instead of paying bills. The parent, who probably has been too coddling to begin with, should cut of the monetary help, so the dumbass spoiled little bastard will learn a lesson. But it doesn't mean a cutting off of kind words or association. Hopefully the spoiled brat will mature.
Or, the son has a drug problem. He's dangerous to have around the younger siblings because his drug-induced behavior is unpredictable. It would be wise to not associate with himm until he gets help. A parent or a friend can help this person, talk to him, point him in the right direction, but not give up on him by refusing to talk to him, unless his behavior becomes dangerous.
It just seems the right thing to do to help someone as much as possible with out spoon feeding them. In the case of JW's it's different because beliefs are involved. A person doesn't have to actually have done anything morally or ethically wrong to be shunned. Sad.