Young JW's with crazy abusive parents: You are not alone. Here's a crazy story from my past.

by cappytan 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  cappytan

  First off, if you are in an abusive household and don't have the means to leave, you need to get help immediately. Contact the police. They have resources to help you, especially if you have proof. If you do have the means to leave, GET OUT ASAP.

  
  Ask for help too and accept it if it's offered.
  
  

  Here's a story I'll tell that's not nearly as bad as some of your stories y'all have shared, but it was a turning point, of sorts, in my life.
  

  I spent a year in Bethel and when I got home I was 22 years old. My parents wanted to force a curfew on me. I resented it. I broke the curfew a few times. Sometimes by half an hour, sometimes by hours. It was a constant source of conflict. But I was pissed that I was 22 F-ing years old and I had a GD curfew. WTF, right? I lived on my own for the past year with no curfew. Why was I all of a sudden supposed to have a curfew again?
  

  One night, I went out with some friends they didn't know, and got home like at 2 or 3 am. My dad was livid and was waiting up for me. I calmly told him I wasn't out doing anything wrong and I was 22 years old and I don't need his curfew.
  

  He was screaming at me like I've never heard before, telling me that so long as I was living under his roof, I had to follow his rules, then he backhanded me in the face.
  

  I was shocked. But, choking back tears, I told him if that's how it is, then I will be moving out the next day. He probably thought I wouldn't do it because he thought I had no place to go. But I had to get out of there.
  

  The next day, I packed my sh!t and got out of there. I was fortunate that a friend with resources heard what happened and had a place for me to stay.
  

  I gratefully accepted.
  

  I didn't know TTATT back then, but I sure as hell knew I needed to get out of that situation.
  

  That was a toxic environment. I had to get out. If your situation is even more toxic, please get out and accept help when it is offered!
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  freemindfade

  Not good. And he was an elder no? Did the two of you ever speak of it since?
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  cognac

  Not that easy... If they are underage, the first the DCF wants to do is remedy the situation unless there is strong proof that abuse is taking place.

  Meanwhile, DCF comes to your home, the parents put on this great act, and is there when the kids are spoken to by the DCF people.

  If kids take the initiative, there could be serious consequences by the parents after DCF comes out and they put on their dog and pony show...

  In my opinion, there's a big difference if you are over the age of 18. Kids younger, unfortunately, don't have the same rights... :(

  God, I hope I'm wrong. I wish for anything that I'm wrong. Please correct me if I am, so these kids can more easily speak out without severe consequences...
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  cappytan

  Not good. And he was an elder no? Did the two of you ever speak of it since?

  We never spoke of it again. We have a fair relationship now, if it wasn't for my mother. But that's a whole other story.
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  PaintedToeNail

  cappytan-Your story about curfew reminds me of mine: I stupidly got married before I was 18, like lots of JW teens at that point in time. After four years of marriage I just wanted out by any means necessary, including death, crazily enough. With my ex being physically abusive, distance was needed during the divorce process. My parents lived 1500 miles from where i currently was, so I moved in with them. At 23 years of age, they decided I needed a curfew...of 11:30 PM. I had no car, no furniture, no money, no job, no friends (my parents relocated 800 miles from my home state 2 years after I married). There was no public transportation service of any kind in that small town and rural county. Upon finding a job, I had to rely on my mom to drive me to work until a car was affordable. After several weeks on the job, I was invited to go out with some co-workers after work. I went. My mom insisted that I be picked up by 8:00 PM, she told me in advance. I knew this. Instead of just coming into the parking lot at 8:00, she came 15 minutes early, marched into the restaurant and announced to all there 'That it was time to come home NOW!' It was absolutely humiliating and virtually impossible to live down that my Mommy came to get me.

  Needless to say, I worked my butt off to get my own place (a furnished little dump, but SOOOO worth it) and a car!
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  Dunedain

  There are/were so many overly strict JW parents out there. I saw them growing up, and i here and see them now. What they dont realise, is that they are actually pushing their children away. They do it under the guise of "protecting you from the world", or thinking they are being the "best uber JW parents" there are, but the result is usually just the opposite.

  They are NOT being loving. They are NOT being respectful, of you as humans, and in the 2 cases above, as adults. They want to "protect" you from the "world", but they are instead just pushing you into the "world". Its really quite unloving, and unchristian behavior. And sometimes its done, just because of how they think they will look in front of their other asshole JW friends. They want to "appear" as though, they are "great" parents, because of how THEY uphold their "strict christian rules". Its bullshit.
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  Bruja-del-Sol

  I could write a book with stories just like that and worse.... actually I've literally started writing it, just to get all that crap out of my system. My husband read the first pages and he had a horrible time because of it. For the very first time he really understood how abusive, in every possible way, the home was in which I grew up.
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  Vidiot

  If I pulled that kind of shit on my kids, I'd deserve to lose my kids.