I am going to a meeting tomarrow

by liquidsky 27 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Shakita

  Hi Liquidsky:

  My husband and I have been inactive for over a year. I have not been to a meeting in that time. My husband has been to a few meetings that some friends have invited him to. Going to these few meetings did not brainwash him back into the organization. In fact, going to these meetings made him realize that he was making the right decision on leaving.

  The problem comes in when the sisters in the hall see you there, they will think that this opens the opportunity to invite you back, to invite you to dinner, to invite you and your Mom to have a study, you know the routine. They want to save you.

  If it was me, I wouldn't go in the first place. I think it will only lead to more "invitations" in the future.

  Mrs. Shakita
• 

  Yesterdays Child

  You have to make that decision. Memorial time is here and I will be asked hundreds of time about attending . I simply say no. I'm not in the habit of being around people who can't even say "hello" to me.
• 

  Sentinel

  All I can say, is that you've made the decision to go, so make the best of it. Take time to really LOOK at the place where you are, and the people around you. Listen to the droning message and realize the true facts of how doctrines have been changed and changed over the years. Remember that no matter how much you do, it is never enough, and that they sustain their attendence by emotional blackmail, shunning, labeling and rejection.

  No doubt you will actually feel very sorry for them and very thankful you are getting control over your life. You owe it to yourself and your parents to be up front with them, so as not to give them false hope. Remember, they are still lost, but you've found your way.
• 

  Victorian sky

  Dear Liquidsky, I understand your dilemma. My mom would freak if I don't go to the memorial (along with several relatives) Mom wants the family to stick together. I haven't been to a meeting in 5 months and the thought of going back even for an hour makes me nauseous. I hate the guilt, feeling that I've somehow failed them, don't want to hurt them and so forth. They won't die if I don't go and I won't die if I do go. I would love to have the courage to just say no. After all, we're adults and whose life is it anyway? - Victorian Sky
• 

  PurpleV

  Does anyone see a pattern here? Parents' happiness dependent on their children being JWs? Guilt trips? Being physically ill at the thought of attending a meeting? Consider:

  Dear LSky:

  After putting a huge guilt trip on me

  That's the only way they can get people to the hall anymore.

  how I'll make her and my father sooo happy if I show up

  Their happiness is NOT your responsibility

  Now i am really scared, my hands are shaking, I am nervous as Hell. I really do not want to go...I want to back out but I don't want to hurt my parents.

  Your parents are the ones setting themselves up to be 'hurt.' Don't take the blame for that. I think you should put yourself first... look how this is affecting you! Stress is harmful to your health!

  The fear of losing your family if you don't go to the meeting is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. In my book, any kind of blackmail is a crime.

  Dear VSky:

  My mom would freak if I don't go to the memorial

  And that's whose fault, exactly? I don't think it's yours.

  Mom wants the family to stick together

  Only if they are all JWs. That's conditional.

  I haven't been to a meeting in 5 months and the thought of going back even for an hour makes me nauseous

  Don't go!!

  I hate the guilt, feeling that I've somehow failed them

  It's not you who has failed them, it is they who failed you, by making their 'love and happiness' contingent on you remaining a good little JW drone. Again, conditional love.

  (((((hugs))))) to both of you... I know this hurts. Hang in there...
• 

  rocketman

  It's sad, isn't it? You know where the Kingdom Hall is located, and if you really wantd to go, you'd go. But they never seem to be able to accept that.
• 

  BluesBrother

  I guess you are committed now , so you may attend and use it as an experince to re inforce your new belief and outlook. Look upun the dubs as victims and mentally stand alone. Let your parents know that this and the Memorial may be the last time. Give yourself one last look at the Borg

  There has been a special push on reaching the inactive, although no one has come near to me.So perhaps your parents feel especially moved to reach you. I think it harsh to call it "Brownie points"; after all, they fear losing you at Armageddon . That is their motive.
• 

  gitasatsangha

  Liquidsky,

  I don't know if this will help but whenever I have to go some place I dont like (especially a boring place), i just look around and imageine everyone else in the room is naked. for some reason the time flies by. And then the mandetory elder comes grinning to say "We missedcha around here SISTER!" just think of some floppy hairy smiling naked man walking up to touch your hand.

  Yeah. It's cool.
• 

  liquidsky

  Thanks for all your comments. I am feelinfg a bit more comfortable now.

  Well I'm all ready to go. Got a skirt on and my songbook and bible. I've managed to avoid this for an entire year. (last years memorial). I am telling my mom tonight to not ask me to attend anyore. If I want to go I'll go on my own. Hopefully she will respect my wishes. I will get to see my neice and nephew tonight, which I am looking forward too. I am not looking forward to the "Its so nice to see you made the effort to attend the meeting even though your husband is an UNBELEIVER." (as if he's the one keeping me from the meetings). .
• 

  riz

  i feel your pain, liquidsky.

  try not to projectile vomit if you can help it. that's what i feel like doing every time i even pass a kingdumb hall.