Another big step on my journey

by LogansRun 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • LogansRun

    1987 Attended the memorial for the first time, and the last time? 2016

    It was a big step for me to not go last night I'm convincing myself that I really do have the strength to never return to this living nightmare of a religion. You may recall I'm a fader my last meeting was 9 months ago and I have deflected a number of attempted visits and dozens of phone calls they now just hang up on my answering machine, as a matter of fact they did it again this morning. I was hoping they would start to get tired of the chase because I'm brother "Nobody" no wife, no kids no living parents and the family hardcore Jdubs live out of state where they are currently living happily ever after. On a much more upbeat note the only other witness in the family may be waking up. We had a long chat where I told him about some of the insane abuse I've received over the years ( I would love to tell you more about that but as a fader I'm being careful about giving out to many details)...The good news is that he's getting tired of all the bullcrap too and to my surprise had himself removed as a MS recently (we go to different congs) He made it clear that my true feelings and what I said are between us. I was very careful to not say anything "apostate" just telling him about all the heartless crap that's been done to me for decades was enough for a start . And I do recall the good advice I have read from all of you and our YouTube friends to be careful, move slow and don't force anything because its my goal to never return... He will chose his own path.

    Thanks to all of you for being here I don't comment much but I do read your posts every week and truly want all of you to find strength, peace and happiness.

  • OneGenTwoGroups

    "this living nightmare of a religion"

    Well said, kudos, well said.

  • KiddingMe

    Congrats!!! Such a big step not attend yhr memorial last night! I hope to get there one day soon.

  • La Capra
    La Capra

    Oh wow. 1987 was the last memorial (tm) I attended. I was 19. It has been 30 years. Weeeeeeeeeee.

  • Jessica72

    I just recently stopped going. I didnt attend last night. I feel fine. I'm starting to get some phone calls and texts

    I don't care. I've been reading alot on self empowerment. It's been very helpful. I feel free, I'm no longer forcing myself to be something I'm not. I was so sick of feeling not good enough and spiritually weak, no matter how hard I tried. It was so depressing. I prayed about it, alot and I believe the creator answered my prayers. It's time to take a different path.. I learned some valuable things. Now it's time to move on in my journey.

  • rebel8

    You did it! Congrats on shedding another shackle.

  • Rhets001

    It still hits me hard every year. I haven't went for like 4 years. My cousin asked me to go and I thought about it because I just wanted to see my family. But then I got so sad and depressed, all the feelings came back and I was like "why put myself through that?"

    My dad also text me "reminding me" to go. They live far away, he's an elder and was giving the talk at his congregation.

    So many jws suffer from depression. I just thought it was normal till I got out.

    It gets easier, you'll always have moments, but it does get easier.

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