Happy Fathers Day

by Still Totally ADD 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    It felt so good to read a card from my youngest son today. It was a funny card about duct tape and cussing. It was a day of joy for me being it was my first fathers day card from my son since he and his family left the cult. It got me to start thinking how much time and joy we lost due to the cult and what kind of father I was to my two sons. I must admit in many ways not that great. Being a born-in everything we did revolved around the cult a cult that does everything to destory a true happy family life.

    Here are the things I feel we as a family lost. Things that bring a family closer such as, no birthdays, christmas, thanksgivings, mother and father days, 4th of July fireworks, watching you kids being in sports, boy or girl scouts, school bands and educational achievment. All lost to a could care less about you cult. Instead all they had was 5 meetings a week, assemblies, conventions and knocking on strangers doors. Only making room for a movie or a vacation in between cult mandates. I feel so bad I could not see the light long ago when you kids were young. But I know I can't change all this lost time but to look to the future knowing 3 of my grandchildren will live a more cult free life. Trying to be the best grand father I can be as well as a better father to my youngest son.

    With all that said I would like to say Happy Fathers Day Son. You are so much smarter than I am by leaving the cult at a younger age than I was when I left. I love you and your family so much. Have a great day with your children. With love your father. P.S. Any thoughts or comments from other fathers out there? Please feel free to give them. Take care. Still Totally ADD

  • iwantoutnow

    Thanks - Happy Fathers day to all!

    My youngest daughter made me breakfast - sent out a beautiful instagram - and is making me dinner.

    Makes me happy:)

  • zeb

    yep happy dads day to all the dads and those who have one coming...

  • blondie

    Fathers Day always causes me (and my siblings) to feel sad. I hate when people ask what I did for my father on father's day.

    There is a worse answer than saying he is dead.

    It's saying he was your pedophile nightmare.

    So for those who had good fathers, count your blessings. And thanks to your fathers.


  • waton

    First father's day memo I received from my children staggered over a ~50 year period.

    What made me glad that for once there was no conflict for the little one in class, "Father's Day are pagan --blah blah.

    The gift? a jar to but coins in to give as a reward for good marks in school-- ha ha.

  • smiddy3

    I`m sorry you and your siblings went through that blondie and thankfully that is the exception rather than the rule .

    Happy fathers day to all the good dad`s out their.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    blondie I am very sorry about what happen to you and I understand where you are coming from. I feel privilege to know you. Your insight and research into the borg has helped countless people on this board. My wife and I hope someday to meet you and your husband. Thank you for all your service on this board. Take care. Still Totally ADD

  • blondie

    smiddy3, I wish it were more the exception than the rule. There are many other ways fathers are cruel and abusive to their children. I worked in juvenile court services and non-profits for teenagers and I know what parents have done, and it doesn't matter what economic situation they come from. We tend to live in a small world, outside the circle of abuse. Even some, turning a blind eye because it is too painful for themselves to look at it. Well, the children are not blind and cannot pretend it isn't happening because they live within the circle and cannot escape very easily, sometimes seemingly making the problem worse by saying anything to those outside the family circle.

    I have dealt with my personal pain and done what I can do to help my own family. But it persists because my family refused and continues refusing to face the facts and their part in it continuing.

    Don't worry for me. It is just I know there are many children living in this situation. Just consider the pedophile situation in the WTS and many other religions and organizations like the Boy Scouts. Or the child pornography and child sexual trafficking (another area I worked in for 6 years).

    It is a difficult to look at and painful for us, but remember how difficult it is for children, and the adults they become.

    I'm not trying to rain on any one's parade regarding their own father, but just remember, many children and children now adults do not get the same warm, fuzzy feeling.

    It is not a given that because someone can biologically produce a child that they also have loving, warm parental feelings for their own child.

  • former2free

    Hello ADD dad as you know I haven’t been on here in a while. I’ve been more into the Facebook groups and YouTube. I know looking back you did what you thought was right. Coming out of a cult at any age is hard. I’m lucky that you and mom were out when I cane out. And since then we have reconnected and grown closer than ever before. It’s great to have conversations without having to hold back because of religions dogma. For all those on this forum who didn’t have good parents I am truly sorry. The only thing we can do now is be better than how we were raised and make the next generation know what true love is and that it has no conditions. Whether you celebrate or not I wish everyone the best and happiest life that you can have cult free. That’s where our freedom lies it’s not necessarily in doing holidays. It’s in the freedom to choose what and how we believe and how we treat others.

  • Prester John
    Prester John

    I may be wrong here, but it was my understanding that there is nothing pagan in origin about Father's Day. It's a relatively modern invention which was designed to counterbalance Mother's Day. And no doubt to make more money for retailers.

    So, in theory you should be able to mark Father's Day even if you're PIMO or PIMI.

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