Jw funerals

blisterfeet

I recently posted that I found out my father is sick. I have not found out any additional information from my family. I’m kinda on an “as provided” basis with information.

I had a thought that it is entirely possible for them to pull off a funeral without even telling me. I believe this is true because I personally have been involved with the process of specifically excluding someone from a funeral, with my family.

I got to thinking is this unique to my family? Or is excluding people from funerals (siblings, parents, children) common in this community?

Exelder

I think that it all depends on the family.

I get excluded from EVERYTHING. I really am treated as if I am dead.

I know of others who really miss their disassociated or disfellowshipped family member who have more contact with their relatives than they really ought (according to JW rules) and so keep the family member informed.

Personally, I could not bear to attend any family event where I was treated as something so disgusting to them that they treat me worse than a piece of crap on their shoe.

I will NEVER tell them if I am dying and friends are given friends strict instructions NEVER to tell my JW family members. I would never give them the satisfaction of simply saying "thank you for telling us" then just getting back to their life as if nothing had happened.

zeb

I trust they wont expect you to carry some of the costs if they have been shunning you.

blownaway

JW funerals are sick, they are recruitment talks not funerals. Second I can remember a CO giving a talk at a CA and pulling a skull out of a paper bag saying if you wanted to talk to your DFed children or family members and Jehovah was in charge of this system this is what you would be talking to. What a fucking douche nozzle.

caves

@blisterfeet-I got to thinking is this unique to my family? Or is excluding people from funerals (siblings, parents, children) common in this community?

I feel it is not unique to your jw family. In my experience yes, excluding 'unfit' ones is the norm. As a child I found it most disturbing. And as and adult I find it emotionally shattering to the recipient of this behavior. Closure denied.

I hope you can find out more about your father and find some peace of mind during this.

Caves

blisterfeet

Ex elder: I understand where you are coming from. If they don’t want me there I don’t want to be there. I’m to the point I just want peace and healing. If going up there will rip open raw wounds I’m not interested

Zeb: nothing they do surprises me. Is it normal to exclude someone from a funeral and expect them to pay their dues? Absolutely not.. so that’s basically what I should plan for. I’m willing to contribute in anyway I can without harming myself to keep them satisfied.

Blown away: you’re right.. I would have to go to the kh. And probably sing songs.. see all those people that hate me... excuse me while I go throw up now.. lol

blisterfeet

Caves: honestly I am not completely unraveling. And all signs point to that I should! I feel as if they made me grieve them years ago.. now confronted with the physical deal I feel somewhat removed emotionally, and physically.. so maybe I have the perfect storm to survive this and keep getting better!!

OnTheWayOut

I don't know your situation, but if possible, go see the living person to say your goodbye. Then if you are excluded or unwelcome to a funeral, you already had your visit and don't need their dog and pony show.

Jw funerals

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