Teenager Advice

by Wagurl 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • zeb

    nathan Natas:Jesus got baptized when he was 33 and he was P E R F E C T.

    ah you beat me too it!


    Hey Wagurl. what will you do at college if i may ask..

  • tiki

    Stand your ground on the baptism issue. Simply make it clear that you are not ready to make an adult decision. Also...that you recognize that at your age you may make mistakes or not be able to live up to the standards of the baptized witness.... And until you are on your own you will have to abide by the family dynamic...behave...put up with it. Soon enough it'll be history and your learned prudence will serve you well in life.

  • Incognigo Montoya
    Incognigo Montoya

    3rdgen and Nathan's arguments and points are spot on and exactly what my response to you would be. If I were you, I would go with what they said.

  • Sea Breeze
    Sea Breeze

    If your parents stay in, the end result will be the same whether you get baptized or not. They will eventually shun you for not worshiping their idol. Eventually there is little real-world difference between whether or not you got baptized.

    I agree with the others to try to get along. But you can learn as much as you can about historical Christianity and be able to prove that the Watchtower is gravely mistaken about a great many things. By planting seeds you can stand your ground on biblical grounds, that's the difference.

    One of the seeds might take root and eventually you'll have one or both parents for life. IM me if you'd like some ideas.

  • Onager

    With respect I disagree with Sea Breeze's comment:

    Eventually there is little real-world difference between whether or not you got baptized.

    There is a world of difference if your parents / JW friends want to be able to find a loophole to still see you. If you're baptised then DF'd then that loophole is vanishingly small. If you are not baptised and then leave then that loophole is there for them if they choose to take advantage of it.

  • Finkelstein

    Good point Onager

  • Sea Breeze
    Sea Breeze

    The position is definitely improved if you do not get baptized. But, eventually there will be little difference over time if the parents remain hardcore adherents.

    Why not use BOTH a biblical and a non-biblical approach? Cast a wider net is my suggestion.

  • Tameria2001

    Totally agree with Onager on this. It depends on the family members and friends of this young person. Take for example my husband's cousins, they were all raised as JWs. Two got baptized, while the other three did not (all siblings). One is still going strong as a JW and has a very typical JW mental attitude about the rules do and don'ts. The eldest never got baptized, she would have been disfellowshipped for fornication if she was. She had a good relationship with all her JW family until her death due to cancer. The second did get baptized, but she did a successful fade, she too has a good relationship with all her family, including the JWs. The third girl also was baptized, and she is the die-hard JW, who doesn't have an issue shunning those who leave or are kicked out. The last two never got baptized, and don't even attend meetings, both of them lived with their partners for many years not married, and one even served in the military in Desert Storm. The active JW still has a very good relationship with all her siblings because they either never got baptized or managed to find a successful way in fading. Yet on the other hand, if my husband, who did make the mistake of getting baptized, even though he did not want to, but because of peer pressure, later dissociated himself. This same JW I am talking about grew up with him and spent quite a bit of time with each other as kids, does the typical JW shunning with him. He never did anything that would cause him to be disfellowshipped, he just disagreed with their teachings, and always has. The biggest mistake he has ever done was getting baptized, he said.

    Me on the other hand - My mother told me that she would still shun me even if I never did get baptized. The witch would love to stone me to death if the law of the land would allow of it, and yes she told me that a few times and that was even before I left that cult.

  • VIII

    As advised, be evasive. Do what you have to do to remain in the parent's good graces and don't give them any reason to throw you out when you turn 18. (My sister was thrown out, literally when she turned 18, for fornication!)

    Any excuse the JW parents have to get rid of someone who is making them look bad to the other robots, er, members of the congregation, they will take and not look back.

    I got a job while in high school and used that as an excuse to fade away from going out in Field Service. I also fell back on "Since I'm earning money to pay for the car and college, what do you want me to do? Not go to work? I'm working and learning at the same time. Which is what you encouraged me to do...". This got me out of going door to door and lots of meetings. The logic worked with my Mother, your mileage may vary.

    Good luck. Please keep us informed. Clear your browser so they don't know you're on Apostate sites....

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