New to the group - I have a couple questions to get started with!!

by bk62 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  bk62

  Hello all,

  I'm not, have never been, nor will I ever be a JW. Unfortunately, I've become caught up in the cult because of my wife. She's not yet a Witness, but many in her family are. This includes several elders - one of who performed our marriage!! When I first learned she believed in the JW's doctrines I thought "So what - we both believe in God so what's the harm?". But the more I read, the more afraid I become.

  I've started attending meetings in order to learn more about these beliefs. I've even allowed a witness couple to come to our house for a weekly study. I insist on keeping a copy of my own (NIV) bible handy, which they don't understand. The thing is though - they're very nice people, and truly believe what they're teaching. Now I'm finding that my wife accepts everything they say as the absolute truth - this scares me!! If she has a problem at work she'll ask them, and won't question the response they give. She has also commented that (based on their actions, attitudes, appearance) JW's are obviously the "best" people (ie. - "Godly"). She's from Mexico, so sometimes I'm not sure I am understanding exactly what she's saying! :)

  She also questions my skepticism of the religion. She tells me "I hope you will open your mind" but when I say the same to her, her response is something like "I already know the truth...". :-Þ

  Ok a few quick questions....in "Refuting Jehovah's Witnesses" by Randall Watters, it says that Jesus started out as Michael the Arch-Angel, came to earth as Jesus, and then went back to heaven as Michael. Is this currently believed / taught by them? I have not yet heard it. I mentioned it to my wife, and she thinks I'm making it up. I've also mentioned the fact that they "Wrote their own bible" but she doesn't believe me there either.

  Since they don't believe in Hell, how can they explain Revelations and that it mentions "Eternal Punishment"?

  I have lots more, but will save them for a future post. I look forward to hearing your responses!

  Brian
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  calamityjane

  hey Brian, welcome to the forum. You will find many answers to your questions.

  But what disturbs me, and you will notice from the board how the WTS changes so many times, over the years, many years.

  I will bring your attention to my point on one thing.

  I was raised a JW from birth, got baptized in the religion at age 16. I strated dating my hubby whom I thought because he also was raised as a jw from birth and his father was an elder, I just assumed that he was also baptized. In our dating period I found out that he wasn't baptized. I was quite surprised, a little taken aback, but so what. We ended up getting engaged. I did the usual jw stuff, attending all meeting, going out door to door and so did he. But when it came to the time that we were getting married, and he still was not baptized. WE were refused marriage in the kingdom hall, by his uncle who was the Presiding Overseer.

  He would not marry us in the kingdom hall because hubby was not baptized. Which caused a real problem so what ended up from a 100 guest list ended up being a 25 guest list, because it went through the grapevine that since the PO would not marry us in the hall, we did not have the jw blessing.

  Needless to say, it was very disheartening to us. My own brother and his wife and kids would not feel comfortable attending our wedding. Our best man and maid of honour pulled out of the wedding arrangements. Thank god we did have some close friends that did end up standing up for us that special day.

  We got married before the justice of the peace, had a small intimate gathering at a hotel room it was a great meeting

  But now you ask yourself how were you allowed to be married by a jw elder. What has changed?

  Why couldn't we be married by a jw elder? This is just one flaw, you will find many flaws in their reasoning and hopefully your wife will too, before she gets caught up in the lie
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  bk62

  Hi CJ!

  I guess I should explain our wedding a little more...

  It took place in Mexico, at my wife's mother's house. At the time I didn't know what a Kingdom Hall was, but chances are they wouldn't have allowed it either. It was definitely a JW's affair though. He quoted many scriptures from the NWT (and they were then interpreted into English by another brother from the KH). Many Witnesses from Arizona came to the wedding, including another elder at a KH in Phoenix and his family. So I don't think they saw it as a problem, but I can't even begin to count how many questions I got (dealing with my intention to become a JH). I never lied - just told them I would try to learn more (which I'm doing). But now that I've done so I'm very convinced I will never be swayed.

  One thing struck me as odd at our wedding reception...it didn't take long for the guest list to thin out (as soon as the partying began!!) I was very surprised, but my wife explained that JW's don't agree with some of the customs we were participating in, such as throwing the boquet to the unmarried women??? (Sorry I don't know the official name of that custom!)

  So are you still with the witnesses? I would assume not, since you mention getting caught up in the lies. Any regrets? I'm sure it's incredibly dfficult having to part with so many of your close friends. That's what I'm hoping to spare my wife of, but yet I don't want to "rush in" before I am ready. (I mean ready to dispel her / their beliefs).

  Thanks!!!!!
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  calamityjane

  Hey bk, just get her the hell out of it. Once you learn how to manouver around in here. Click on the Member Directory and see the posts I have made. You will see what I have gone through over the years.

  I have a wonderful husband, we left the WTS together in 1994 and never looked back. But yes we left friends behind and I left my side of the family behind.

  I've made a life out of the bOrg. I am happy, my children aren't being brought up in propaganda. They are living normal lives.

  We have made many new friends over the years, rekindled old friendships and our life could never be fuller and happier.

  Yes my parents and brother are still in there, but I don't lose any sleep at night,. I don't miss them.(I kinda of do, when I know their missing out on an activity that brings family together). I have to be honest here. But I probably also sound callous but you can read my posts and get a jest of our story.

  Welcome again and prepare to be enlightened.
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  bk62

  One other question I forgot to ask...........

  My wife was told that JW's don't believe in marriage after divorce. I'm divorced - not looking so good for me anymore!! :) Can you tell me if this is a true statement?

  Thanks Again! /Brian
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  Francois

  I really hate to say this, but I personally think that you've got a very hard road ahead of you. You seem like an intelligent person, one who questions and who must be satisfied with the answers. From what you say of your wife, she is like a blotter, soaking up any and everything the JWs tell her. As your relationship with your wife settles down into the day in and day out sameness of life and the magic of new marriage gradually wears off, I'm afraid your differences will become magnified. I think that you will become more and more disenchanted with the JWs because, well, because they are a religious cult that depends on the credulity of its members for success. Any who question are regarded as "weak" and "spiritiually sick" and on and on in that vein. Your intelligence will be seen as evil. And how will your wife react to this independent thinking streak you have?

  For your own sake, I do hope you will not have children before this issue is resolved. A divorce when children are involved is a terrible thing to have to go through when you're not a JW. When JWs are involved, it becomes a living hell.

  You already question many things that your wife gulps down. This difference will only grow. Please do go slow in all things. In my experience, there is the finest line between love and hate, and it sometimes takes only the smallest nudge to be pushed from one to the other.

  My Best Wishes to You,
  francois
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  Guest 77

  Hi bk62 ,and welcome. I'm not going to say anymore than what has been said. Take care and I wish you the best.

  Guest 77
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  calamityjane

  Bk yes there is life after a divorce

  But Jw's only divorce under an extreme condition like adultery. That's the only thing that would allow the wounded party to remarry again.

  And the fact that an elder did marry you and your wife, shows that they have an agenda for both you and your wife. And that is they are going to do everything possible to make you believe that this religion is the "true religion". They are going to envelope you into their open arms just to make you a statistic. That they have gained "two more souls". Please Please look at the board, open your eyes.

  You have so much to learn. Don't be blinded by their so called good works. I been there, I've played the game. If I was in the bOrg now you would be the prime candidate that we would try to hook into, just to lure you into the bOrg. We would make us look like we were the greatest, but in the meantime, you were only an agenda.

  Sorry to burst your bubble. But I am telling you like it is. Beware. Be afraid, very afaid, and please read the board and follow the links especially the "quotes page" and there you can see how the jw religion has changed their viewpoint over the years and how flacid they are.

  Cj of the "nothing to hide class"
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  bk62

  Francois,

  You raise a very good point, and one that I meant to bring up in my original post. Having kids is already a big issue. I would like to have a child, but she is being persuaded (by...guess who) that now would not be a good time to bring kids into the world. You know - end being so near and all. I ask about the bible saying "be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth" but Jehovah's "True Students" tell me that was only intended for earlier generations - not now that we're so close to the end of "this system of things". I get quite angry at these people for telling her (and me by association) how to run our lives, but yet I realize they're doing what they are being told.

  I do appreciate your point, and I will definitely give it some thought. We're in our 30's, and have time. I can already picture her trying to keep me from celebrating Christmas with the kid(s)!!!

  Brian
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  bk62

  CJ,

  Thanks for your warning - I have no intention of closing my eyes for even a moment!! I only ask about the divorce issue, because I was previously married.

  If it's true what they told her (that they see it as wrong to remarry after divorce) then my fear is that, knowing they will not be able to "convert" me, they will then go after my wife and try to turn her against me. Will they try telling her she's sinning by being married to me, a divorced man?