Making friends in the "truth" (page 2)

hoser

The preceding comments are spot on. If you don't act the way the cult wants you to act you are ignored and have no friends in the congregation. It is used by the cult to control the members.

Go in field ministry regularly and people will invite you to their homes and hang around with you Miss a month or two of service and they will ignore you.

A couple of years ago I realized I was wasting my time developing relationships with conditional friends. If I were to be really down on my luck would they be there for me? If I was an alcoholic or addict living on the streets these same "friends" would cross the road to avoid me.

crazy_flickering_light

I think, there's a structure:

1) Nuts

2) Low Level Believers (think it's the truth but don't study anything)

3) Believers (think it's the truth and study only jw-books)

4) Hardcore-JWs (don't think and study hard)

And here is the problem with the teaching:

1) You avoid them, because they nuts.

2) You look for them too dub-style.

3) You look too much like 2) or 4)

4) You only access this area if you be a pioneer or so.

At the end, it's all based on fear. If you low-level you be connected, if you a hi one also. Everything in between mostly screwed.

ToesUp

I agree with dubstepped. We also were not included too many times. Not uberenough I guess.

We have also made some evil worldly friends via our business. When we go out to dinner with them we all fight over paying the check. When we were J W's we could never get anyone to pick up the tab (even when facing unemployment).

One wealthy couple just bought a brand new boat. They took us along to pick it out. They wanted to see if we liked the seating on the boat when we come along with them. We had to pinch ourselves, we have never had kind and generous friends in the WT.

ssn587

Kind and generous friends in Jdub land is a fairy tale. From my experience people were always wanting to be invited to our house for supper or Bbqs but out of 4 years at this congregation we over 20 times had people over or went out to eat with them but we always got stuck picking up the tab. In those 4 years, we were only were invited over to eat 3 times. Other than those times, they had nothing to do with me unless of course they wanted me to make something they liked for a get together they were having. USERS at best but hardly friends.

Joliette

For the most part fake and phony friendships.

Joliette

Sociopaths too, I forgot to mention that.

Doubtfully Yours

Jordandemm,

I find that true friendship is harder than usual because it is directly connected with one's loyalty to this Org. It is frustrating, and totally the reason why my best friends are among my immediate family.

Growing up I had very close friends that drove themselves away merely because I did not continue to work as hard as they did for the WTBTS. Friendships are elusive in this environment.

DY

Doubtfully Yours

There are no "friends" inside the WTBTS, only "associates". Hell, in this Org even your immediate relatives will turn their back on you if you stop obeying the GB master.

Lately, I am having issues with family and other "associates" because I refuse to use an electronic device for meetings and service. It is annoying!

DY

Alive!

Over the past three years, I haven't been to meetings. On two seperate occasions, in the past 18 months I was contacted out of the blue by born-in witnesses, both faithful etc - but having a life crisis where they needed comfort.

I offered a place to retreat ( which is what they needed) - one stayed for a week and came back several times for a night here and there (born in, occasional pioneer, a beautiful young woman - she felt she had no-one to turn to) the other who lives offshore and was visiting on personal business chose NOT to stay with her 'lifelong' friends or family but stayed with me....( she is a career pioneer and she and her PO husband are in the movers and shakers class.....she doesn't keep in touch and it's always been me that makes contact through social media....)

Although they both know I have had my share of past traumatic experience which I have generally kept in the background of my life, neither have kept in touch - their families have never called or wrote to express gratitude for any kindness on my behalf towards their 'own' - or been concerned that I am 'alright'....

The point is - through my life as a converted JW, I noticed that born-ins and converts alike, had no-one to turn to.....but they DID come to me. And I'm no- one.

I wonder how they feel - being so alone in this huge brotherhood.....I got a taste of it, it nearly killed me.

thedepressedsoul

I'm not trying to brag but I never had this issue. Too many invites to have a weekend just at home.

What I did find however, is that it took a lot longer to become "good friends" with a JW then a person in the world. You had to feel the person out and see "how far" you could joke with them before offending the person. Some of my closest JW friends happened when we realized we didn't need a barrier around each other and could have fun without worrying about offending each other.

Making friends in the "truth"

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