Finally, after almost 3 years, they want to visit with me
I like EyesOpenHeartBroken's suggestion. Yes,indeed!
If the woman assured your wife it would be a "social" visit, you make sure it remains "social" (i.e., no JW "hinting" or "promos" such as talking about a recent or upcoming convention or "interesting" message in a current Watchtower or a copy of the egregiously entitled brochure, "Return to Jehovah".)
Sadly, paranoia is a bi-product of being raised in a cult. We just don't know how to trust. It's not just us faders, but "active" JWs.
They are just people who want to connect to something, or someone. They want friends too, but they don't know what to do.
I see so many Eldubs and their wives who drink and party. THAT'S NORMAL BEHAVIOR FOR HUMANS!!!!!!! But then they MUST feel guilty!!
There's no way that Eldubs aren't conflicted. The CO wants his report, and the Eldubs need to make their quota! The Eldubs have to check on the sheep. They are, after all, "Stars of Revelation" and "Dukes!"
If the BOE is sending Eldubs and their wives to check up on faders, instead of two Eldubs, the WTBTS must be desperate to retain membership, or the couple that you mention are just nice "believers" who want to see how you are doing. Just be cool, smile, nod, then do whatever you want.
Here is the message I sent him today.
Sorry for not replying sooner. I've been thinking about it. I want you to know that you and your family won a place in our heart long ago. You are welcome in my home whenever you please. With that said, I understand you also have a responsibility to Jehovah and that you are probably worried about us. This have been trying times for us. As I mentioned before, I had some things come up at work that have affected my health. Physically as much as emotionally. The irony is that now things at work have taken a turn but like if it was a joke now all the expectations are put on me. There is a high demand for my department to perform and all eyes are on me which has become almost a traumatic experience. Everyone is taking it upon themselves to point me where they think I should go and I am finding myself unable to handle so much responsibility from every angle. The fact that I am always under someone's finger trying to tell me how I should run the office. What does this have to do with Jehovah?
If you put an egg between your hands and you pressure until it breaks, which hand would you blame for the mess? The left or the right? Physics shows us that pressure will distribute equally among each hand and there is no way to avoid this. Is a natural law. My case is very similar. I am at the edge of my patience and my wife and I needed some time to heal. Otherwise, I ran a chance of loosing it during the meeting and disrespect someone unwillingly
With this I am not saying I forgot Jehovah completely. I have prayed a lot and he has directed me thru the bible quit a bit. I still read and study, even more than before. Him and I only know how this situation goes that is why I believe he understood I needed some time to meditate, which was the healthy thing to do. I hope this is the start of a new chapter in our life. As I said, you are welcome in my home anytime but I don't feel in a mental state to discuss this subjects. Thank you
Thank you for your sincerity brother S....... and for the appreaciation. I want you to know we have you in our thoughts and prayers. Always remember what 1 Cor 10:13 says. Jehovah would never test you beyond what you can handle. We'll do our best to be there Friday and we will respect your privacy
English Standard Version (ESV)1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
"Always remember what 1 Cor 10:13 says. Jehovah would never test you beyond what you can handle."
Despite what your friend may think, you are not being tested by Jehovah...this scripture he quoted points out that there are temptations in life and that god will help you to escape temptation. It does not say in this scripture that he is the one tempting you or that he tests us.
It seems to me that if they want a social visit they should invite you to their home - they're the ones that want it, so they should be the ones to have to go to the trouble of preparing the home for guests, handling entertainment, etc. It's not a purely social visit - if it were then mr elder would be fine with hosting - it's because he's doing this as a part of his duties that he's looking for a way to reduce the load on himself by inviting himself to your house.
My own personal thought is, instead of hosting them at your home at their request (very odd indeed), I would willingly accept their invitation to connect on a social basis but do so at a neutral location like a restaurant.
I'd respond to them, lettting them know you're looking forward to getting together, but it's too hectic at your place. To "keep it simple" let's just meet at Restaurant Bar & Grill for a nice dinner (and drinks, of course). It will set a reasonable time limit on the conversation, and meeting in a public place will force them to tone down the "cult speak" and any temptation to start asking you personal questions on your spirituality, etc.
I was just wondering if he'll be wearing a tie
Reading others' comments convinced me this is NOT a social call,
In a social call you don't invite yourself over to someone's house,
With a social call you invite someone to YOUR home,
If I were you I would call and say that I'm really not up to a visit (that's
what this is by the way a VISIT)
Well they did come after all. Funny that regardless of how much they promised to respect our privacy, I guess the message was not really that clear.
Let me backtrack a little since I definitely agree with the sentiment in your responses. I was expecting them to come for more than just a hangout. We still opened the door to their visit as I mentioned. They ended up confirming and we prepared a meal. Got some wine to help me stay relaxed and not scream my head off. Like I said, they are indeed very nice people and I really expected them to make good of their word.
And they did....... to a degree.
When they arrived, I went to get the door and as soon as I walked in, I noticed he was carrying his ipad. Not a good sign, I thought but may be, just may be, he had to take it away from his children so that they may socialize a bit instead of putting their heads down into the tablet. We had a nice meal and pleasant conversation regarding just family trips and experiences with kids (The funny type). Once we had dessert and the conversation was toning down he asked me if it was ok for him to play some videos with experiences of brothers. I said that was ok.
He played three videos of handicapped JW or people with terminal illnesses that were preaching happily despite their obstacles. So basically the message for me is that I have some sort of condition that seems to cripple me in my activities. I am not sure what to make of it but that is fine. What actually played well for me is that the very same morning, my wife and I had a very pleasant discussion on the shortcoming of the WT as a charity and how deceitful their interpretations of "works of mercy" was. Just the last Sunday it was said that works of mercy meant preparing for and attending meetings. Funny enough, one of the videos they showed us was the one about Phelicity Sneesby. The young JW that died due to a heart condition but had to be flown back to Australia in her last days. The WT used her for propaganda but did not put a penny towards the trip back home. Today I sent her the link so that she could see. Seeing that video was certainly a great leeway to continue showing my wife just how deceitful and evil this organization is. So, a very positive visit if you ask me.
Once they left, my wife was like "Well that went better than I expected". I guess she did expect them to dig for information and they did not.
You guys handled that great!
After they showed you the videos you should have asked them..."now can we show you a video?" You could have then showed them the ARC videos. Can you imagine the looks on their faces. You know the saying, "turnabout is fair play." lol
they showed their true colours, how ridiculously pathetic showing you videos of disabled/handicapped jw's etc, I think I would have lost it there and then, patronising and very disrespectful, lets hope you've heard the last of them, I wouldn't give them the time of day in the future.