Feeling A Bit Down Today

by jacobm 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • jacobm

    Hey y'all,

    I'm not sure about you, but I occasionally get those days where I feel a bit down, as if I have no friends. I do have a number of great friends, though, and am very thankful for them.

    I think it might have to do with the residual programming of having a "worldwide brotherhood". I was so used to having such a big pool of "friends", that my brain still misses that feeling.

    Anyone know what I'm talking about?

  • Xanthippe
    I'm sorry you're feeling down. It's true we were used to a lot of friends in the religion but I find just having two or three good friends I can really rely on rather that dozens who I'm not sure of a much better way to live. I hope you feel better soon.
  • Wild_Thing
    Yes, I remember that feeling. I have been out for 15 years and it still hits me sometimes. It helps me to remind myself that those connections may have felt real, but they were not. They were conditional and fleeting. It is a worldwide brotherhood that anyone can join, and the only cost is your conscience and mental freedom. It wasn't worth it. Enjoy your freedom and remember there are real connections to make with people in the world that are more meaningful than the ones the JWs suggest they ever have.
  • stuckinarut2

    As for all of those "millions of friends", think of this quote:

    "If your absence doesn't bother them, then your presence never mattered"

    It helps to put into perspective just how genuine those relationships were....

  • ToesUp

    Sorry you are feeling down. We all get that way sometimes.

    Just try and focus on the few good/true and unconditional friends you have. Maybe you could try and call one of those great friends and see if they want to meet up for a quick lunch or cup of coffee. Maybe that would help.

    Keep in mind that all the JW friends had conditions. Unfortunately, that is not a friend.

    Hang in there and know that you have ones who care and understand what you are going through.

  • GrreatTeacher

    Maybe think about the term Worldwide Brotherhood and then think about the fact that without ever having met every JW around the world, they couldn't possibly have been your friends.

    Isn't it very clear that to be friends with someone, you not only have had to meet them, but you also would have to share enough interaction to build a friendship?

    So, the idea of Instant Friends as promoted in the Organization is kind of disingenuous.

    In the real world you have to put the work in to claim friendship with someone else.

    I find the JW concept of friendship to be shallow. There were a lot of acquaintances, true. But, it is basically broad and shallow.

    Real friendships have to be earned in time and understanding. A more narrow band of people, but deep friendships.

    I'd take narrow and deep over broad and shallow any day.

  • Crazyguy
    They weren't friend's, proof move ten minute's away to another congregation and you'll nevesr hear from them again except seeing them at the assembly s
  • GrreatTeacher

    Yes, crazyguy, exactly this!

    My parents moved congregations and I would ask them about so-and-so from the old congregation whom they had known for decades, and I'd get an answer something like, "Well, I think they're doing okay."

    It was clear they hadn't spokem to them in a long while.

  • cappytan

    All I have to say man is, you've got a friend in me.


  • EyesOpenHeartBroken

    Hey Jacob, maybe it's in the air because I have been having a down day too. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I was thinking about how even though I was surrounded by people all the time in JWland, I can only count on one hand the number of actual friendships I had in over 30 years.

    Maybe tomorrow will be better. Sorry I have nothing of more substance to offer.

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