JW's often state that their practice of disfellowshipping is used to keep the congregation clean and free of "worldly" influences and the like, however that is just pure B.S. In actual practice, all they actually care about is your status according to the Watchtower Society. Case in point is Ray's situation.
Ray disassociated himself about 20 years ago because elders and other JW's were constantly spreading false rumors after he quit attending meetings. After a while of putting up with this, he wrote a letter of disassociation which then placed him on the black list of JW world.
From that point on he was cut off and ostracized from the community he had been a part of for many, many years. His wife filed for divorce shortly after and moved away with his three kids, one son and two daughters.
Over the years he did nothing to harass the Witnesses but yet he was considered as dead, described as a bad person, an evil slave, a person full of demons and so on. Actually he is a very nice guy and remarried a few years after his wife divorced him and has done well for himself.
His son remained in the religion and is now an elder.
Daughter #1 married a JW about 12 years ago and divorced him 2 years later. She then married a man who was in the U.S. Marines and unfortunately he died in Iraq about a year later. A year later she moved in with a man with whom she has had two children out of wedlock. She left him for about a year and lived with a 4th guy, but has now reconciled and is back with #3.
Daughter #2 faded from the religion after she graduated from high school several years ago and has told her mom and friends around her that she does not "believe that shit" anymore and is an atheist.
As of today, Ray is still considered someone worthy to be shunned even though he has no animosity toward any JW's nor has said anything negative about them.
However, his two daughters have never been counseled, marked or disfellowshipped from the organization even though their lifestyle is known by several elders and other Witnesses. They can still attend meetings and freely associate with those in attendance.
Why is that? Because their status has not been updated to one worthy of being shunned even though their lifestyle says otherwise. The youngest daughter even plays golf on occasion with an elder in the congregation she grew up in and he knows how she feels about the Witnesses and religion in general.
So it is not your conduct or lifestyle that makes you unworthy of fellowship, it's the status or label that is assigned to you by the Society that does.