by Eppie 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Eppie


    So far I've had so many wonderful replies to my questions that I dare to venture one more here.

    I will tell you a story about abuse in my family by a guy that has become an elder lately. I will however change some details as I am still afraid to be recognised and Dfd (I faded away very happily).

    About 10 years ago a member of my close family was raped by a guy. Even though he was 'only 16' (this has been said as an excuse which really pisses me off), he was raping her when she was only 7 years old!!! His mother (a sister that always acts as if she is very holy) walked in on him doing that and she threatened my family member so she wouldn't tell a thing. As she was only seven and didn't quite understand what had happened she didn't mention it and lived on. When she was a few years older she got nightmares etc. and remembered everything. She then told her parents who told the local elders. They of course told them to do nothing and let Jehovah judge him lateron. He was called but refused everything (and I am sure that if he would have confessed that nothing would have happened). To my surprise the same elders APPOINTED HIM AN ELDER recently!!!! He ruined her life effectively and now he is an elder?!?!?!? I know I cannot really do smth about it esp as I have faded away and do not want to be Dfd. I would like to tell it to a journalist however, or just randomly go to his home to do I don't know what to him. Also his wife doesn't know anything about it, and neither do most of the brothers and sisters. Recently someone told me that her 6-yr old daughter had gone in the field with him (as in alone in a car to visit farms), I mean what if it happens again? Am i to blame then?

    I know this is not a very unique story as many of these stories have been uncovered lately, but I wanted to share it with you as it bothers me really.

    How can a religion have so many faces? The other day I was talking to an elder (not willingly, he was just visiting family that I was visiting), and he was so nice! I am sure that he doesn't know anything of a set up and really loves God. So many people really believe in him and it makes me feel warm inside and I really miss believing in smth that intense, but I also know that I will never be able to do that again. And then I feel that warm and the next day a person calls me and tells me that he has become an elder!!!!

    Can't I post his name here? I am sure that would really do the job

    Thanks for this site and for everyone that posts here, it has been a real pleasure lately to visit it!


  • Buster

    There are lawyers for this sort of stuff. You'll need some advice on slander and any statute of limitations. But don't post any names here - at least until after you've had that conversation with an attorney.

    But if you decide to press it, keep us posted.

  • Uzzah

    Is there any reason why you or the girl herself could not report this to the child welfare agency in your area?

    In many jurisdictions, anonymous reports are allowed to be made as well. If he is now serving as an elder and is having access to other children it HAS to be reported.

    If you are in Canada contact me and I can assist you. Otherwise, contact Bill Bowen of silent lambs for assistance in this regard. My email is available in my profile.


  • Francois

    Yes, you can post the name here. The courts have ruled that you are protected by the first amendment.


    Of course, you may want to get Simon's take on it first.

  • Scully


    I'm sorry to hear about this situation. It's awful that someone who has ruined another person's life can be appointed to a position of responsibility without ever having to answer for the crimes they committed against others.

    It wouldn't surprise me in the least if the offender in question got through a loophole - perhaps he was not a baptized JW at the time of the crimes - and would not have been subject to the judicial process due to his not being a "member" of the congregation. This "technicality" has been used in other cases - if I recall correctly a recent one involving a violent young offender who targeted younger males in the congregation - the elders basically washed their hands of the matter by saying the offender was not under their jurisdiction because he was not baptized, so there was no duty (in their understanding ) to protect children in the congregation or the community - they allowed him to attend meetings, conventions, you name it. This same excuse was used in the Berry girls' case - the elders claimed there was no fiduciary duty owed the girls due to the fact that they were not bona fide members of the congregation by virtue of their not being baptized. So they don't deserve protection???

    These are the kinds of idiotic flaws in reasoning that are causing kids to get raped - and re-raped by a system that doesn't give flying flip about the harm that is being caused.

    It's time for the WTS to pay. And pay dearly. Children deserve much better than this.

    Love, Scully

  • avishai
    I know I cannot really do smth about it esp as I have faded away and do not want to be Dfd.

    I'm sorry, but I can't sympathize w/ you. If you live in a mandatory reporting state, as a publisher, you are considered an ordained minister., & REQUIRED to report this. If not, you are morally obligated to do so. This man raped a 7 yr. old girl. SEVEN YEARS OLD!!!! These people, rapists, do not "get better"! Your needs to remain "non-df'd" are totally irrelavant. You can report this anonymously, if need be.

  • Utopian_Raindrops

    Child Abuse Hotline (Los Angeles County DCFS) Within CA (800) 540-4000
    Outside CA (213) 283-1960
    Judge Baker Children's Center - Child Abuse Hotline (800) 792-5200
    National Child Abuse Hotline (800) 422-4453
    Covenant House (800) 999-9999


  • Eppie


    Thank you for your posts but it is somewhat more complicated than that. First of all: the person in question has grown up and is an adult now, and she really doesn't want to report it and doesn't want to go through it again by reporting it. She also lives in the same town as him and doesn't want to have this all over her. Another problem is that in this country there is a certain amount of time in which you can report smth and that time has passed.

    My dad recently (as in a few months) contacted one of the elders that appointed him (he was the only one of the elders that didn't know about the rape as he only came to the cong years later) and he was in deep shock to hear that. He could recall that he asked him in the meeting when he was appointed: 'is there something on your conscience that could prevent you from becoming an elder' and he just simply shook his head and said 'no'. This elder contacted the others but I haven't heard anything since. Neither did my father, and the only slightly positive thing of this is that he knows now that smth is wrong with the WBTS org, he still believes in Jehovah and will never leave but recently he turned an offer to become an elder down and doesn't visit the lectures often anymore. He has written the WBTS org in our country but hasn't heard anything since.

    Just a bit of information before I am attacked again here , it's not as if i don't care, for the first time in my life i can think of me again without running around to help others, i am not egocentric but just happy with that! Seriously, im studying to become a doctor and will asap join some kind of charity org to start a clinic wherever necessary, i am not selfish....


  • Uzzah


    If I came across as attacking, I apologize.

    Regardless if the survivor wants to go through all this, the authorities need to know. Other kids are in danger. You don't have to give the survivor's name either (this is what I meant by regardless)

    I am all for thinking of yourself but it would take nothing on your part to pick up the phone, make an anonymous report that Mr. Child Perv abused a 7 year old girl 10 years ago (or whenever). giv ehis name and address and the authorities will do the rest.

    It sounds like you care for people (the idea of the clinic is wonderful btw) and I don't think you'd be able to live with yourself if you found out that he abused again.

    Do the right thing.


  • avishai

    How were you attacked? Do you mind if I ask what country you live in?

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