Well, it's been a good ten months since I walked away from the JWs and it's been quite a journey. I notice that the initial fears, self-doubt and rage are no longer with me. When I first left I could hardly look at a WT or Awake magazine without getting wave after wave of anxiety and frustration. I would analyze over and over my decision to leave (although I never thought about going back, ever) and was in a deep depression. Countless emails and phone calls to support groups etc.
Over time all this eased up considerably. Now, I don't really have any guilt feelings about leaving the Society. When a JW snubs me on the street (yes, it's happened a couple of times) I don't wonder to myself if they might be right, I just think how incredibly ridiculous the whole religion is (it's amazing, actually). I can look at and even read through WT and Awake articles without a twinge of my former thinking patterns.
Better still, I feel that I am starting to rebuild aspects of my life -- moving beyond just tearing my old beliefs down. I'm back in college, slowly making friends, and am cultivating my own "spirituality" (a mixture of existential philosophy, Taoism and evolutionary psychology). I can think of the JWs with a balanced eye -- critical about many things, love for the people in it, and humor at much of it (yes, all of the Awake!).
Still, there are peculiar feelings that crop up every now and then. I know I am very well along in my recovery, but I am curious how others view their "recovery time" after the JWs. Do you think there are different stages in exiting and making it in the real world? What stage are you in? How long did it take? (sometimes I'm surprised at the rapidity of my recovery -- sometimes that scares me a little).
Have a great weekend everybody
Bradley