This is a new thread on the same subjects as LDH's
I am having a hard time myself these days. My self esteem is zero. I carry so much guilt that I can't let go of. I could tell you story after story of my family life and my witness life that have all contributed to the state I am in now. I just can't seem to shake myself loose of it.
I was a straight A high school student, but in the 70s this was actually a matter of reproach in my family, in the congregation and among my friends, all of whom quit school and got their GED's. I tried to so hard to be accepted by my family and friends, but never was, even though internally I was fighting against my own homosexual nature to keep them happy. Indeed, an impossible task on both counts.
Everything that I am, smart, silly, outgoing, etc. was not valued by my family and friends. Now, I am so injured I wonder if I will ever be able to live a happy life.
I have decided not to have any contact with my witness family from now on. The hypocrisy of their lives combined with the enormous guilt they lay on me has taken too heavy a toll on me. Its over, I am disfellowshipping them out of my life for good this time.
I really hope that we can keep this board as a supportive place for recovering witnesses. I wish everyone would just ignore those that come here to taunt us so they will just go away and leave us in peace to help each other rebuild.
I wish you all peace