let the battle commence..

by nightwarrior 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • nightwarrior

    Well the inevitable has happened... my mother now knows without a shadow of a doubt that I no longer attend the KH, and that the 'close' sister that I had spoken to about the above, is heartbroken (aaahhhh) that I have made such a momentous decision (how dare I) without talking to the family first....

    Note : I am 42 years old, 4 children, married for 16 years, lived away from my 'home' for 20 years...and the youngest daughter out of four girls, and I am still thought of as being unable to make my own decisions (as Homer would say 'DOH!).

    I have with held speaking to my mother for the simple reason that she is very ill, and I did not want to add to her burden, and then be blamed for her death.. She is a strong character, and has raised her family in the 'truth', my dad was not interested in the JW's...but I doubt if I will get any support from him, as he will back my mam, as she is the strong one in the relationship, and heaven help him if he were to disagree with her!!!

    Anyway, what would I have done without Mr Nightwarrior, he has been great beyond words, but sadly my mother has decided that he is the one to blame, and (wait for it).... he is part of the 'sweet talking evil slave class'...............

    When my mother put this to my yesterday on the telephone I politely put the phone down on her... how dare she! (she has not rang back)

    Before this finger pointing though, (she would not let me get a word in edge ways,) and she was put out by the facts that I had pointed out to my sister on Thursday evening, regarding, among other things, the situation in Malawi, dates, UN participation, child abuse, printing organisation, regarding the f&d slave as mediator.... and so on... she mentioned that all these things (?) had been going on since 1919, well I think she is suffering from senile dementia....

    Don't ask why 1919... when my mother gets going she is typical of many JWs - foot in the door syndrome.. and she will not allow you an opinion, but her own, and she is not interested in anything you have to say.. no matter what the subject is..

    I told Nightwarrior that this is what would happen, and as to why I put off telling her (along with the illness) but now it has happened, I am pleased... she also told me that how can I expect my prayers to be answered, if I am not relying on the faithful and discreet slave!! This is all so frustrating...

    But at the same time, I am relieved, no doubt, she think things over, as I have always thought my mother to be an itelligent woman, but then alot of JWs have tunnel vision..... it is sad, that my neice will have been warned off from speaking to me, as she would always call me from work, but she is the daughter of my 'close' sister, and she wants to be a pioneer, and her brother wants to go to Bethel, so I will be deemed bad association..... but I know that I will be able to live with this.........reality has now come home to roost, and I feel that living in reality is rather better than waiting for the inevitable to happen, because now I do not have to be wary of the things that I speak about, and If my 'family' no longer wish to 'associate' well that is what I call 'perogative'.

    Oh well, now that I have got that off my chest, I feel better....

    Actually I felt okay before, but I am glad that I writing this down to 'real friends' who will read, and give comment. I know that many of you have been through much much worse, but we can all help each other...

    One thing I will say though, is that without my better half Mr Nightwarrior, I would have been lost, and I love him loads, he has kept me going, and made me laugh through the tears, and my kids have been marvellous, as I was in danger of them sueing me if I kept them at the meetings LOL.. and also to you lot....YOU ARE ALL TERRIFIC!!!!!!!!!!

    Lots of love

    MRS Nightwarrior (oh to use my own name would be great)


    Every once in awhile on here, there are these incredible stories. I am always thrilled to read these very personal and intimately shared happenings, such as the one you shared here.

    Nightwarrior, it is interesting to note the progress you make as you grow away from the WTBTS and all its followers. Of course, when it comes to family and close friends, the leaving and result thereof, can be difficult to swallow and emotionally painful.

    Somehow there is some resolve, some way of knowing that one must move ahead, regardless.

    We hope...oh do we ever...that some will come to their senses, ask questions or at least have questions in their minds/hearts.

    Your story is encouraging. I enjoyed reading it.

    As for your comment: " ...and also to you lot....YOU ARE ALL TERRIFIC!!!! !!!!!! " - don't forget: you are too!

    All the best Nightwarrior (Mr & Mrs).

  • crinklestein

    So, your mother thinks that the Faithful and Discreet Slave forwards your prayers to God? Is that not the job of Jesus, as they say? Glad you broke the news to your familly. If they choose to stop having a relationship with you over the ordeal than so-be-it. They may be familly but they are just people, like anyone else. And that doesn't give them liberty to walk all over you.

  • Englishman

    MRS Nightwarrior (oh to use my own name would be great)

    It's worth the wait, Mrs N, it really is worth the wait.

    Mike Hooper. WSM.

  • Swan
    my dad was not interested in the JW's...but I doubt if I will get any support from him

    This is what happened to me to. My mom and my aunt were willing to compromise to accept me and associate with me and they are both JWs. It was my father, who never got down off the fence once in 40 years to get baptized, who at the urging of my brother (I think), put his foot down and that was that. Strange how things worked out.


  • blacksheep

    Yeah, my dad was never interested in the religion and pretty much turned all of the raising of us over to my mom (devout JW). He supported her and backed her up, all the while not really believing it. I really have to say I resent that. We had to go to those lousy meetings and in service every week while he did whatever he pleased. In fact, one time we were on vacation and my mom wanted to go out in service (yeah some vacation), and my dad said I HAD to go with my mom or I couldn't go to the beach.

    Don't know why I'm rambling. Your post just touched a nerve. The WTS ingraines it into people that they cannot make decisions without "seeking guidedance" from the WT propaganda or "mature ones."

    Stand firm. Stay strong. You'll get through this. I hope your mother gets better!

  • nightwarrior

    Thank you all for your responses.

    But here the updates begin:

    My mother has told me that I am not to discuss with any of the family (meaning my siblings, and neice and nephews) the things that I have researched, and that as long as I just say that I no longer go to the meetings, she is satisfied, because she does not want me to be disfellowshipped, and also, I am not to send her letter discussing what I have found out, because she will be put into an awkward position??!!!

    But me, I am curious, if someone in the past, had mentioned to me about not attending meetings, I would automatically ask WHY?, and I am being required to lie to keep the family peace.

    Well now I am so glad that I have distance between us, and that I do not have to meet up with the family on a regular basis.

    But my lips are now buttoned (yeah right)....mother has spoken......but my relationship has now changed with my family because the hat I am now wearing is not liked!!!!!!!!!!! Oh dear what a shame...

    To think I use to allow Jws to rule my life.... oh I am shamed

    But now I am out and life goes on..thank goodness..

    See ya all

    Mrs Nightwarrior

  • JamesThomas

    Mrs. Nightwarrior,

    My heart goes out to your loss of family.

    You are so lucky to have Mr. Nightwarrior and your children on your side.


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