I was enjoying my anonymity after my move until a family member gave a local sister my new address and told her about my "inactive" standing. A sister stopped by to see me the first time, but now she brought an elder by. My husband sent them away and told them how he felt (he's not a j.w.) but I know it is just a matter of time before the elder comes back with another brother to ask me the "catch 22" questions to be able to DA me. I have family still in and don't want to play their games, but if worse comes to worse I want to be prepared and lay it out in my own terms. I have seen some well thought out DA letters here in the past but unfortunately did not save them as I wasn't ready yet. Would anyone mind sharing a really good DA letter? It would be great if it could get a couple of family members thinking & questioning, too, but I know that's wishful thinking at this point. I'd appreciate any suggestions. Thanks!
Any good ideas for a DA letter?
Dear Dawn27: I am not sure how successful this will be as there is some debate,(and quite legitimate differing viewpoints) on this, but I offer the baptism nullification letter I wrote and was posted by Blackguard. If you are so inclined look it over and maybe there will be some useful points in there. I tried it myself and so far there has been minimal contact with the J-duds. But the CO is visiting my old Hall this week and there may be some announcement this comming week. I will let everyone know what happens. I did not just sent the letter to Brooklyn, I sent it in a mass mailout to everybody I knew and who knew I was involved with that bunch. I am not suggesting you do this but I offer it for consideration in view of their potential reaction. I hope it can help. Also Dedalus has a good DA letter you should look at. In the end, and as was brought out by Dedalus, you need to do want will give you closure. Yours, Maverick
Nothing smacks a JW in the head harder than the accusation that there is no love in the Organization, or at least in the local congregation.
If you want to avoid doctrinal issues and being labelled as an apostate, that is one route you can take - the I-am-deeply-stumbled-by-your-lack-of-love DA letter.
You would definitely have to include some scriptures, such as
I am giving YOU a new commandment, that YOU love one another; just as I have loved YOU , that YOU also love one another. By this all will know that YOU are my disciples, if YOU have love among yourselves.
By their fruits YOU will recognize them. Never do people gather grapes from thorns or figs from thistles, do they? Likewise every good tree produces fine fruit, but every rotten tree produces worthless fruit; a good tree cannot bear worthless fruit, neither can a rotten tree produce fine fruit. Every tree not producing fine fruit gets cut down and thrown into the fire. Really, then, by their fruits YOU will recognize those [men].
TE'KEL, you have been weighed in the balances and have been found deficient.
You could ask some hard hitting questions like:
- How is shunning someone "loving"?
- How is asking a child who has been sexually abused to confront their abuser in front of a judicial committee "loving"?
- How is it "loving" to base a JW's worth as a person as being directly proportional to the numbers on their field service report or how much money they put in the contribution boxes?
If you have personal examples to illustrate these questions as being more than hypothetical, use them.
Finally, conclude with a note to the effect that you value your good name and reputation, and that any action that results in your name being slandered by JWs, including announcements or gossip to the effect that you are not an approved associate, are disassociated, or disfellowshipped, that you will hold the body of elders personally liable for slander, and legal action will be taken against them. "Govern yourselves accordingly."
Then state that your conscience, based on the scriptural principles and evidence you have presented, can no longer allow you in good faith to consider the [insert name here] Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses to be Christ Jesus' disciples.
Dawn I understand the need for closure. I like that baptism nulification letter myself. Although you have to understand that some family will shun you regardless if you DA, get DFed or nulififed. You have to make that call yourself.
My DA letter is in my profilie which you can attain by clicking on my name here on this post. It's a simple one compared to others. I put in my personal thoughts and the letter is very personal. I think that suits me best rather than one that lists all the sins of the society.
Whatever you do I wish you the best. If you decide to DA then use your own thoughts in the letter, that will make you feel better. But don't DA quickly. Give it a lot of thought so there aren't any regrets down the road.
hi Dawn, like LB said you will have to write when the time comes whats in your heart.
for us it was easy being no other family members were in, while my husband wrote a letter and put both our names on it I felt I had to write my own and tell my feelings. which were mostly how God could approve of such an organization that has this huge pedophile problem and that chooses to treat people in such a uncrhistlike manner when they shun.
take your time and do what you feel when you are ready.
All the friends here have made good points. The nice thing about a computer is that you can create a file and open your heart and write. Then go back each day and edit for clarity and punctuation. In my mind a good letter is one that clearly and accurately states what you think and gives the reader insight into your feelings. Maybe your letter will plant a seed in that one which will sprout in the future. When I write a piece for submission of publication it goes through about ten drafts, a proof reader, and a copy editor first. And I need it! When you finally take whatever action you decide and put it in the mail or hand deliver it, you can not take it back. But, what may surprise you is the feeling of freedom that will wash over you. I wish you the best, Maverick