Mark Jones writes
There have been only a handful of occasions where a Jehovah’s Witness has successfully engaged me in respectable conversation with mutual respect. One such person started off like this and (unfortunately) has become an angry little man over the years. I can only imagine its because Armageddon hasn't come when it was supposed to be “imminent” 6 years ago.
If you really, sincerely wish to talk to me and other former Jehovah’s Witnesses about your beliefs your best bet would be the following:
- Understand that, despite what your magazines and governing body have told you, we didn't all leave because we “wish to sin”, “could not live up to “bible” standards” or “committed immorality”. Going in with a mindset like that sets you up to fail because you’ll think you’re talking to someone less “holy” or less worthy than yourself.
- Understand that, literally, all of us love truth. Which is actually why many of us left. We simply believe that the Jehovah’s Witness religion is not true. I’ve no doubt that you believe it’s true, but I dont believe that it is. And we can talk about that if you wish. What was it that I learned that you haven't learned yet? But that's ok we can still be friends. I was at a Sikh wedding last weekend. I’m not a Sikh. And that’s ok. They invited me anyway and we enjoyed the day (and the food!).
- If you think we’re wrong, simply show us why. Using Watchtower publications isn't going to make any different because, (see (2)) we dont believe the Watchtower society is publishing truth. Instead, use outside sources, or ask what we believe and why and how we developed our beliefs. If you work from there you’ll have us questioning our own ideas - which is good. We’re interested in truth and want to be corrected if we’re wrong. I’d hate to get to 80 years old and only then someone coming along and showing me I’ve been living a life based on error.
- Most of us dont claim to have “the” truth. At least, the ones in the atheist camp dont anyway. So asking us “where should we go?” or “if this isn't the truth, what is?” is a nothing question to us. (In fact, we’d likely remind you that Peter asked Jesus “to whom should we go?” not “where”). Personally, I dont tell people what to do. As an existentialist it literally goes against my morals and standards. I’d rather people think it out for themselves, take their time and go where the evidence leads them.
- Don’t assume we’re all the same. We’re not. When we left the Jehovah’s Witnesses (which many of us consider a high control group) we tend to have an aversion to leaders or following other people. There are several people within the exJW “community” (if there is such a thing) who are unpopular and divisive.
- A lot of us will know Watchtower literature very well. Reason being, we were very much full believers. We were interested in truth even back then. It was this love for truth which made us avid readers and researchers when we believed the Watchtower society was printing truth. Eventually, that thirst for truth takes an honest hearted Jehovah’s Witness to objective research and they eventually learn it isnt true at all.
- Not all of us jump back into “pagan” practices. Some people do because they’re eager to express their freedom and blend in with the rest of society. Some born-in Jehovah’s Witnesses who leave dont celebrate Christmas or birthdays at all and have an aversion to it because they have no memories of ever celebrating it and dont understand why people do it. In my case, I dont celebrate Christmas. My wife and kids do. I observe Saturnalia, which is the original festival without any connotation to Jesus. The difference is mine lasts longer. But we all acknowledge that we have no belief in any gods and it’s more of a nice thing to do in December. Hell, we’d celebrate Holi if there was an opportunity to in the UK.