Just How Dysfunctional Are We?

Englishman

I've noted that one of our ex-members believes that the vast majority of posters to this site are, in his opinion, worthy of the label of being "dysfunctional".

For what it's worth, I believe that some persons, especially those who have exited the witnesses fairly recently, may well be a little naive and probably somewhat immature also. From my own observations I have seen how maturation virtually ceases when anyone becomes overly committed to a belief system. Once someone leaves that belief system, then their maturation continues afresh and goes into over-drive as the person strives to "catch up" and eventually feel comfortable in relatively normal society.

So no, I don't think that many of us are dysfunctional at all. Maybe a bit immature at times, but definitely not dysfunctional.

Maybe you feel differently?

Englishman.

waiting

Truth is - when I read the subject line of your thread, I immediately thought "Pretty damned much!"

Oh..........quasi-professionals etc., usually believe The Other Side is more dysfunctional than they are.

As one psycholgist said about families "Anyone who says their family isn't dysfunctional is lying. All families are dysfunctional." It's nearly impossible to define "normal" particularily when dealing with exiting cult members. Most likely.....impossible to define, imho.

I think this forum caters to the majority of exiting/exited jw's......who tend to be within the parameters of slightly reasoning "immature" to varying degrees of dysfunction. And then there was Fred Hall. But most of us, imho, fall into the range of just plain ol' average people trying to understand what happened to us.

My favorite quote from this board - upon realizing that 40 years had been spent in a cult:

SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to my forehead!

"How could I have been THAT stupid!!!!"

Perceived stupidity isn't dsyfunctional - just stupid. We weren't stupid...just Blinded by the Light.

waiting

DanTheMan

Hello Mr. Blair,

:From my own observations I have seen how maturation virtually ceases when anyone becomes overly committed to a belief system. Once someone leaves that belief system, then their maturation continues afresh and goes into over-drive as the person strives to "catch up" and eventually feel comfortable in relatively normal society.

Well said mate. I joined JW's as a naive 22 year old, and any personal growth or maturation stopped at that point. Now I'm 32 and trying to catch up. Funny thing is that even physically I stopped aging, people often don't believe me when I tell them I'm 32.

Vivamus

I guess I'm pretty dysfunctional.

LOL I read: "From my own observations I have seen how maturation virtually" as: "From my own observations I have seen how masturbation virtually".

pettygrudger

Well, before I can make a judgement call on that - I'd have to decide what "functional" is - then perhaps I'll understand dysfunctional!

hillary_step

Mmmm. E'Man,

Surely an immature person stands an above average chance of reacting in a dysfunctional manner?

I have to say Mike that I tend to agree with the other poster. Though I would not necessarily use the term 'the large majority', it does seem that many lose their emotional balance, and subsequently their ability to function normally when they leave the WTS. For example, last year someone started a thread asking how many subscribers to the Board took medication for emotional ailments. I have to say that I was very surprised at the amount who did. These medicines are prescribed when a person is not functioning and reacting normally emotionally, ie. dysfunctional.

There is certainly a phenomenon that seems to arrest aspects of a persons development once a they become emotionally reliant on the WTS. Basically the WTS lives our lives for us and allows us to function at a certain level that shields us from contact with experiences necessary for growth. The arrested adolescent syndrome. Given that scenario, it is hardly surprising that many XJW's eventually end up in some sort of therapy.

Good thread Mike, I hope that it gets the discussion it deserves - HS

patio34

No offense to your post, HilaryStep, but where I work the most commonly prescribed drug (it's reputed by a chatty personnel person) is the anti-depressant kind. At least in the US, it seems to be prescribed very freely and hence, doesn't seem indicative of anything much, especially dysfunctional. I know of at least two executives where I work that take them.

Pat

hillary_step

Patio,

Thank you for your post - no offence taken. I have actually wondered whether or not US / European differences entered into the equation. I live in North America these days and am continually baffled at the reach for the medicine cure for everything. It does seem as if the Atlantic bears heavily on the individuals reaction to XJW life also, but the point I was making is that social dysfunctionality does not seem to be a rarity among XJW's who post on these Boards. The use of medication to combat the WTS blues is surely indicative of some level of dysfunction, but it is by no means the only indication social or emotional dysfunction.

As one poster stated who moved on from this Board, "What you see on XJW discussion Boards is people who have been unable to move on'. Food for a seperate and vigorous thread no doubt, but I suspect that there is more than an element of truth in this statement.

Best regards - HS

DanTheMan

"What you see on XJW discussion Boards is people who have been unable to move on'

I would say there is a grain of truth to that, but I think whoever said that is painting with a pretty broad brush.

I spent 10 years in the JW org as a half-active nobody, I was never even close to being given "responsibilities". I really wasn't much of a devout believer after my first couple of years. However, despite my somewhat lightweight involvement in JW world, leaving has been extremely traumatic. I left JW's with some of the same naive idealism that I had when I joined them - the idea that life is going to be great from here on because I've left the cult. Wrong again!!!

I do hope to move on someday, but I am still sorting a lot of it out, still trying to "find myself", to use a pop psychology cliche.

Also, the Watchtower is pretty fascinating as religions go, and when you've been involved in something that totalistic, I don't know how you just "move on" and forget about it completely. I'm sure that I will "keep current" with JW World until the day I die, or the day the WT dies, whichever comes first. My ultra-rational and logical brother-in-law doesn't understand why a year after I left I still talk about the JW's a lot. Only here do I find others who can relate. And I want to be here for the newbies that continue to come here with the same bewilderment and confusion that I had a year ago when I left.

Englishman

I don't really agree with "moving on" thing. Seems to me that some people come here to get help, some to give help, but I have to say that most folk, IMHO, come here just because they have something in common with a good many of the folk here. I get my own particular buzz from talking with the various nationalities in particular.

And besides...who knows who might get treated to the sight of my lithe young limbs at the next apostofest?

Englishman.

Just How Dysfunctional Are We?

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