The family destroyers strike again

by betweenworlds 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • betweenworlds

    Well, they have done it again.

    My husband called me from work today rather upset. He had just gotten off the phone with his best friend who he had grown up with. This friend grew up in an EXTREMELY disfunctional JW home. His parents were quite abusive, verbally and emotionally. They are ex-military who became JWs when the kids were little. Extremely strict with everything, including the JW stuff. He and one sister were baptised, while the youngest never did. Well, this friend got married at a very young age to a women quite a bit older than himself. They had a rocky start as they were publicly reproved immediately upon marrying (apparently they hadn't waited until it was official, felt guilty and *confessed*) After a very rocky marriage with hubby's friend being disfellowshipped for a time, then reinstated, the marriage ended in divorce. He was disfellowshipped again for divorcing without scriptural grounds (his wife was very mentally unstable a lot of the time, and was pretty abusive) His parents would have NOTHING to do with him at all. They would not accept his phone calls, or speak to him AT all.

    Well to make a long story short this friend not too long ago found and absolutely wonderful, sweet women whom he married. She is not a JW, and never has been (lucky girl :) Then out of the blue the friend get's a call from his dad stating that the Watchtower has changed it's mind on divorce, and now an emotionally abused spouse can be scripturally divorced, so that it would be alright if he and his new wife came to visit them (the parents) (arghhhhhhhhhh, how big of them) He asked him if he had thought about contacting the elders in his area to see about studying again, and getting back into the org. The friend didn't really say much, kind of edged around the issue without commiting. So anyway the friend, quite excited at the thought of actually making peace with his folks makes arrangements to go visit them. He makes airline reservation, the wife arranges time off work, etc. his dad calls him again and asks if he has called the elders at all. The friend says "no" and the father says "Well then, I'm afraid I don't think that we could in good conscience let you come to stay with us" OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! Mind you they talk to the youngest sister no problem what so ever, this sister lives with her worldy (aka *normal*) boyfriend and has gotten into all manner of troubles...but this is just fine because she hasn't been baptised. The hypocrisy of these people is absolutely STUNNING. The friend spent an hour on the phone today with my husband because he was so upset and disgusted :( Just when I don't think I could be any more disgusted......


  • StinkyPantz

    Whatever happened to loving your child unconditionally? This kind of stuff turns my stomach!

  • FreeWilly

    What a bunch of F***ING homewreckers.

  • betweenworlds

    :( it's so depressing...between this crap and watching the crap going down in the news I've been a sobbing wreck today. My heart feels very heavy.


    DAMN! what a complete bummer.

    It's ironic on all levels. Seems like the son, no matter what he did/does he's going to be the whipping boy/fall guy for the family's ineptitudes. Yet, the unbaptized daughter (his sister) can carry on as she pleases. Nevertheless, at least she will speak to her brother. That's decent.

    My heart goes out to this fellow. Thank goodness your husband is there for him.

    Do you think this fellow would like to visit this forum? I think he'd find loads of support and comradry here.

    Thanks for sharing that story with us BetweenWorlds.

  • enjoy

    MY HEART goes out to you and your friend.. Why do they think that it is allright for them to ruin your life and not talk to you, BUT now the WT sheds new "LIGHT" and now you are suspose to run back and everything will be wonderful SHIT!!!!! How stupid do they think we are? Parents have a responsibility to there kids, things like this really makes me MAD MAD MAD!!!!

    Ask your friend to come see us and get support....

  • betweenworlds

    Hey Rayzor,

    That's exactly the way he has been treated. The two girls were always given preferential treatment, while hubbys friend was made the scapegoat.

    He was thrilled when he found out that we were out of the org, and were not going to pass any judgement on him. (we had been out of touch with him for quite a few years)

    I've mentioned the forum to him, but he didn't say too much about it....I asked him "you know that they are wrong, and that they don't have the truth don't you??" and he said a quiet yes with his head bowed...but I fearful he may be deep inside still might think that they do. I'm not really sure...This religion get's such a hold on you, even when you are out and you are fighting it's control, it still has an emotional, subconsious grip.


  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    Sheesters, the pit really IS bottomless - t alk about the sheep and the goats.

  • Wolfgirl

    Sounds like my warped family. They'll go to see my grandparents every week, who have never been the least bit interested in JWs and who supported Hitler in WWII (I'm German), but they won't even speak to me on the phone because I left the religion.

  • Elsewhere

Share this